A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now, we live in different countries and have met in another country. We enjoy each others company a lot when we are together - and we are together only once a month or once every 2 months for a short weekend. I feel like I don't get enough attention from him, he never sends me flowers or calls - we just chat on the net, but when I'm with him he pays for everything. I feel jealous sometimes when he is with his friend (girl) although I never know for sure which friend he is with. I don't think that he is really cheating on me, but I feel like I don't trust him. I am not sure whether this relationship is worth my wasted nerves... I will be going back to uni this fall and I will spend 2 years finishing my degree. We won't be able to live together at all during those 2,5 years, maybe 2 weeks in the summer at the most...I am just really confused, I am not sure whether I should be putting myself through all these doubts - it's a long distance relationship with an unknown end, and I feel there is not enough interaction, and attention from him and I stress a lot over him not texting me enough and meeting his girl friend. I wonder whether it is worthwhile holding on to this relationship, is it worth my wasted nerves? I am not sure I can face 2,5 years of this... Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
View related questions:
different countries, flowers, jealous, long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): 13 years of it have made me a non believer that any man is worth that amount of torture
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Its me again :) Thanks for your advice. Its good to know that there are people out there going through similar stuff or who just have more dating experience.
I have told my bf that I like flowers a lot - still I am not getting any, I dont ask him for anything, and I obviously am not going to beg for them lol. With my ex it took me a while to get him to buy me flowers and choky bars just as a sign of attention. I am a relatively big attention seeker hehhe, but you know this long distance thing is killing me...I feel like if I will start asking him to buy me flowers and chocolates I will push it too far? He is not a very affectionate person - with words I mean. He noticed that the companys website that I work for is out of date, and he is currently studying graphics and webdesign and offered to redo it, I said id like that, but i still havent done anything - havent provided him with info or anything, and today he sent me already the front page done it his way. I suppose he does care, and for him comming over 3000 km to see me, he has to book a hotel as I live with my family and and obviously each trip costs him money, hes willing to pay and obviously likes me enough to come over here. But I do feel really sad and lonely, i dont want another relationship or another guy, I just dont want to be upset and feel jealous. I know I have this tendency to over react sometimes, am I really over analysing everything? I feel like I cant ask him for more attention (as in flowers, more initiative to talk to each other etc) because that might be too demanding? Sorry Im a total wreck today. Thanks for replying anyway, i really appreciate it x
...............................
A
female
reader, Gembob051 +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Hey Hun. I can completely relate to your problem as i have been with my boyfriend for 10 months now. We met on holiday and live in different countries. 1 thing i have learnt from this situation is you have to take into account the strain on each other with the distance. Everybody warned me against having a long distance relationshipo and like your boyfriend mine doesn't do romance!! i never get flowers or soppy messages but when it is important he's there!Stick it out chick. My partner sounds exactly the same as yours and was petrified of commitment. He recently found an old diary of mine that said all i ever dreamed of was getting married and having children. His reaction?? he proposed to me last night. It can work out you just have to make sure he knows exactly how you feel. Don't be afraid to talk about your emotions. Long distance relationships rely solely on communication. Get this right and everyhting else will follow.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): I'm in a somewhat similar situation, and let me tell you: if he's not willing to be better and give you what you need, then he's not worth it. Paying for everything it's just not enough. In a long-distance relationship, you need way more than in a conventional relationship, because you need to be sure that both of you are trying their very best, all the time.There are many things you know only by what he tells you, and many gestures that you need that he's just not giving. Calling you shouldn't be that much of a problem. It's all about that kind of gestures in this kind of relationship.So be honest with him. If he's not willing to be better, then you should save yourself all of that torture.Best of luck, girl.
...............................
|
