A
female
age
36-40,
Its_X_
writes:Long distance relationships. There are so many views on them. Some people think they can't work, that the relationships aren't "real" because you don't see your boyfriend or girlfriend everyday, but that's their opinion. They haven't been in one most likely, so who's really to judge? People that have been in them. And I know they'll say they're successful. There are people with internet love success stories all over the place thanks to the websites. Communication is making everything more easy for people in long distance relationships. There's IM, email, online games, phones, texting, you name it. Without those the relationship wouldn't be able to keep up. I know they work because I'm in a long distance relationship currently. I didn't meet my boyfriend on the internet or an online game of any sort. I met him in real life. He's the most wonderful boy I have ever met. He's two years older than me and lives on the opposite side of the country. I couldn't be more in love with him. He listens to what I say, is there for me when I need someone, and has never been mean to me. It sounds like such a perfect little relationship doesn't it? It wasn't at first. I can't tell you how many times I thought about calling quits. I couldn't take it. Why? He was keeping secrets.Secrets are probably the biggest problem in a long distance relationship, and if your partner doesn't always tell you the truth then stop wasting your time. I'm not saying if he lies 3 times about little things, I mean about big things. Now, I give you that advice, but I'm going to tell you that I didn't listen. When me and my boyfriend were in the early stages there was a major secret I didn't know. He had a girlfriend. That text message almost killed me. My heart stopped. He had been flirtign with me, wanting to be in a relationship, and he had a girlfriend. He was seeing her and she didn't know I existed. I was there the whole summer and she had no idea that I even existed. I didn't feel bad for what I had done as awful as it sounds, but I felt bad for doing it and not knowing. I stopped talking to him. I let him know that if he wanted me over her then he needed to decide.He chose me. Since the day he told me he had dumped her he swore to never lie to me again. He hasn't. He has been true to me through the whole relationship. He never hides anything and we tell each other everything. Letting your long distance partner into your life and telling them everything is really important. You need to say what you're thinking. It's important to let them know how you feel about something. If you don't, then I personally don't feel its a relationship. If you love someone you should tell them everything. I don't mean every little bitty dark secret you have, but your opinion on things. Being in a long distance relationship.... It works if you put your heart into it and your partner does too. If you don't, you're wasting your time and your cell phone minutes.LoveX
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male
reader, renshinkia  +, writes (11 April 2011):
Long distance relationships are painful. Even if your partner is being faithful. I question anyone in a long distance relationship to deny that. You tolerate things you would not tolerate from a relationship thats not long distance. Why? Who knows? I have been in a long distance relationship for some time. I have just got to the stage where I cannot take it anymore and have told her so. She is upset, as am I. The overriding factor is you cant live your life in isolation, either you are together or your not. My advice, Stop kidding yourself that you have something that does not exist, move on and live, life is way to short.
A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (5 November 2007):
 I am currently in a long distance relationship myself. My girl friend is away at school and she is 3 hours away. I think that if you truly love someone all it really takes is constant communication and straight forward communication of feelings.
Right now I'm finding myself at a crossroads in my relationship of 9 months. We've together for almost a year and I'm feeling unappreciated because I give her 100% even though she's miles away and I feel like she gives me something like 55% she came home about a month ago and didn't come see me. that really hurt my feelings, how could you be 5 mins away and not come see your significant other? I couldn't believe she would do that especially since I stole a car and drove 3 hours to come see her? Was 5 minutes too much to ask? this made me really question our relationship and her feelings for me. She's coming home again Thursday and doesn't know if she'll come by and see me again. I'm getting to the point where I can't accept that anymore. If you love someone you would come see them if you were there.
If she doesn't come see me while she's home I'm breaking up with her for good. Its sad cause she's my first love and I was totally willing to do the long distance thing because I loved her, but I can't continue to dedicate myself wholeheartedly like that when my love isn't reciprocated to the same degree.
If you're in a long distance relationship and your significant other shows you that they are dedicated to you and love you. You should also do your best to make it work.
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A
female
reader, helensmith +, writes (29 October 2007):
I'm so sorry I can't agree with you absolutely. I currently meet a girl on agelessonly who is in the different sate. Our relationship are good for nearly half a year. Although we sometimes have some problems, but we everytime solve the problem timely, usually we will understand and compromise the other in the end. I want to say, we will meet lots of difficulties in the long distance, the main point is whether you would like to remain your relationship by your heart. As long as you love each other in deep, I assure you can gain your love forever. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, PennilessDreams +, writes (25 October 2007):
I completely agree with you, the current long distance relationship that I am in (about 6 months now) was horribly rocky in the beginning and in a situation like yours, I got an IM from him that he was seeing another girl and I was crushed.
We've moved on from that, he's left her but since our relationship is still young and budding, we constantly butt heads from miscommunication and our feelings come out in angry messages which end in a calm conversation.
It just takes a lot more work and dedication when you're in a long distance relationship.
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