A
male
age
36-40,
*rouble145759
writes:Me and my g/f have been together for 4 years we lived together and traveled together but then we spent a yr apart from each other occasionally seeing each other every month etc.We decided to move in together which she said she was a bit nervous about , but when i came to hers to sort out a place to live she did something out of the ordinary...she went out with her friends , which was fine, before she left she said she would be coming back but she didnt come back until 9am the next day and didnt even call or text me to let me know...i was very upset by this and asked her why she did it...first she said she forgot to call/text me and she stayed round a friends house....she is not the cheating type and i trust her 100% however i am so confused as to why she didnt feel the need to come back to me that night or even just let me know she was staying out as she has never done this before??I dunno what to think!! i need some advice!!
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male
reader, trouble145759 +, writes (16 December 2009):
trouble145759 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response...sorry to hear about ur break up!
A
female
reader, Katiekins86 +, writes (16 December 2009):
 I think you have every right to be confused and upset that she didn't come home to you after saying she would. It is more the no contact thing and the lack of telling you she was safe.
I hate to say it but don't rule out cheating completely. From my own personal experience (after four years in a 'perfect' relationship & being engaged) the night my boyfriend randomly didn't text me or ring me to let me know he was safe was when he met an out of town stranger to start cheating with and leave me for. We had just booked our wedding. None of this was said to me, I found it all out of my own back by snooping. Commitment does funny things to people - maybe the planning to move in after a period of being independent has scared her a bit?
she may just be freaking out about it and just dealt with it in an unresponsible way? doesn't necessarily mean she isn't happy with you.
I would be quite firm with her about this lack of respect but let her speak and try and be objective with what she says and don't just listen for what you want to hear (something I'm guilty of!). Four years is a long time together and maybe you need to ease yourself back into it rather than going from once or twice a month for ayear to sharing somewhere again. Hope that helps x
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