A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Huge delima i am in,actually alot of stressful drama.To start of,i know some of this is my own fault,i also am a grown woman and will deal with any reactions that come forth myway as a cause to actions set forth.Became close friends with a male colleuge about a year and a half ago.As we got closer ,yes we ended up crossing that line more then our share of times.Problem is both married.Very wrong on both ends ,we both admitted it was wrong,but as time grew we both realised we both in way deep,we had fallen for each other.As far as work goes,becomes a major mess now,first off there is no policy in regards to inter office dating.We did talk every day on yahoo messenger,then for a hour in evening on phone after work.Seems it caused a huge war is how it feels between one the female warehouse manager (my superior) and the guy i was seeing(sales Manager) not same department as me.over the year it was a major struggle,all we did is ever talk at work and very little.Somehow though during this,my manager just did alot of creepy crazy things,i am now learning about.She asked a employee,to go sit in front of my house and spy on me,see who i see and when.I found out she has told several emloyee's nasty stuff about me,she has asked another employee if he spies on me allday she will get him a raise.She has changed punched time cards,docked me without telling me,threantened me with loosing my job and so on,for no apparant reason except she disliked the guy i was seeing.Now to make it all get a bit crazier,on friday morning at work in the company vehicle ,i had a car accident,early morning i swerved to miss a cat i hit a wall.Serious as it was i scathed with just alot of bruising all over me,and a fractured wrist bone.Now because of all the spying stuff i did move house,it totally weirded me out,i gave the company a po box number is all for a address.Now still whirling from the accident and still on pan meds,yesterday i get called to office and told,i can resign or they can fire me,i just signed the paper,thinking it best and no more stress i have enough now.Now they have fired the guy i was seeing aswell from what i heard,but i have not heard from him at all.After all this mess.I have no idea where to go from this point,i dunno if i did the right thing by signing paper,i know i gotta get another job.I am just a bundle of nerves at this point.Any advice would be helpful.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): Yes,i did change house with my husband,he knew of the instances,been married 21 years so,he hears alot.
I tried to bring the violations to upper managment,but to no knowledge would they even give me a chance to talk.They just didt want to hear it.Their moto was go see your manager,well as we can see that,i couldnt do that.
I didnt change jobs,at the time,for i was still seeing the guy at work,and it was our only time together mostly,even if it was talk mostly.I was going to try and use up vacation time next week and change jobs,but seems they beat me to that situation.
Thank you for your response,and yes when i sit and think about it all,seem's like somehting you watch on tv. But, not somehting you actually live through.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Wow. Ouch. Firstly, see a labor lawyer. That will cover your legal issues. You were under duress when you signed the papers, but you may have to sue them to prove it.
Next, check out your unemployement office, and see what forms you need to fill out, and get that started ASAP. Whatever happens, you need to get that done.
Focus on what you HAVE to do, then you can focus on what you WANT to do.
I am not surprised he did not call you. He probably blames you, instead of taking half the blame himself.
You are married right? Then do the right thing now. Do not make any contact with him again. Focus on your marriage.
This question almost makes me think it is a fake. I mean, you were being violated at work, and you changed your address...(with your husband?) but you did not change jobs? This is what puzzles me.
-Frank B Kermit
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