A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 30 yrs old girl, in relation with a 40 yrs old guy. He is divorced and since it's an issue in Egypt for Christians to be divorced i was shocked and disappointed in the beginning then i thought to give it a chance may be he is the right 1 for me. We ve been dating now for 3 months. He says he loves me ..We both have feelings i guess but the problem is that i find him too different than me..Or different even from any guy i knew. I always have expectations from him and don't get even the half of them but i still care. I am an emotional person, i like that the guy i knw show initiation by calling me, passing by to see me things like that....This should be the normal but i find him always lazy to do this..Dunno if tht means he is careless or a "a lazy lover" but the end result that i feel most of time disappointed and unhappy. For example i keep waiting for the weekend to go out with him. But this rarely happens he sleeps all day and tell me i like to use my weekend in relaxing and sleeping. We live an hour and someth far from each others and streets might be crowded most times but in general he doesn't show much attention. + we ve diff life styles..I am a morning person he is a night1. I can go to pubs sometimes but i also would like to do other activities like watch movies,go to coffee shops,shopping..This nev happens we always go to pubs and he drives me home late...I stay nervous and ve hard time with parents for tht. He also have a v.open life, knw many ppl (spec.girls as friends) he says. Am a bit jealous and conservative and feel he has v.open mysterious life that i dunno about and can't c him all time to be involved in his whole life. Every time i back off he keeps saying he cares and i find too early to let go.. Can we make any progress ? How ? Or should i just leave ? Wht about playing games and acting unavailable for a change and ving other activities as some girls do ?
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male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 From what I've read I don't think you're happy and I don't think the different religions have anything to do with it.
"He says he loves me" but "initiation by calling me, passing by to see me things like that....This should be the normal but i find him always lazy to do this"
"He says he loves me" but you are "most of time disappointed and unhappy"
"He says he loves me" but "i also would like to do other activities like watch movies,go to coffee shops,shopping..This nev happens we always go to pubs"
"He says he loves me" but "v.open mysterious life that i dunno about and can't c him all time to be involved in his whole life."
"Can we make any progress ?" Yes.
"How ?" Sit down with him face to face and tell him kindly but very clearly what it is you need to feel loved.
"Or should i just leave ?" Not yet.
"Wht about playing games and acting unavailable for a change and ving other activities as some girls do ?" Do you really want to be like "some girls"? I don't think this is ever a good idea to do. It has been my experience that people who "play games" are ultimately controlling and controlling people are unattractive. I wish you the best of luck!
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