A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I guess mainly people from the UK will relate to this issue as it involves freehold and leasehold property and the situation I've been left in when my alcoholic ex let me down. Sorry if this is long, I don't know how to explain my situation without seeming spoiled, so I'm going to put in some background info.For those not from the UK, in England we have a somewhat crazy system for property sale where you buy either leasehold or freehold. Leasehold is increasingly common, it means you basically buy the right to live in a place for a number of years - usually around 100 but, as the years tick away and your leasehold de-values, you're left with an increasingly difficult situation when you come to sell. It is possible to re-new leases but this can be very expensive. Freehold or Share of Freehold is where you either own the property outright or you share ownership equally with others eg. in a block of flats, you don't own your particular flat, as such, but you get a lease for it and can live in it and, as freeholds, you own a percentage of the whole building, as does everyone else who lives in the building. Sometimes you can force the freeholder to sell the freehold to you but certain conditions apply. In my case I will never be able to force the sale of the freehold but it will be sold on the open market in a few years. Increasingly, in London where I live, people who have absolutely nothing to do with the building can buy the freehold at auction - these go to the highest bidder - and then, once they have the freehold, they charge absolutely extortionate fees for "maintenance" of the building. There is pretty much nothing a leaseholder can do about this and it is very, very difficult to get legal support with taking them to court etc. My current freeholder is like this kind of person - charging extortionate fees that get worse each year. I know when he sells the freehold, he will NOT give us first right of refusal and he doesn't have to because of a loophole in the law in this country and that he will make sure he gets that maximum amount for it. The man who lives downstairs for me has VERY rich parents and he has already stated he wants to buy it and will not consider buying it with me to share - he wants it for himself, so that he can control the whole building and also build a second home, to rent out, in the huge garden he has and which also has a private access, allowing access to a 2nd home. There is no way I can compete with him to buy it. At present, I own outright a lease on a tiny, 310 square feet, flat. The freeholder charges me the same amount of maintenance charges as everyone else, even though their flats are twice the size and one of them ( the one owned by the guy downstairs) has a 100 foot garden as well. I pay over £1400 per year in charges, and £1000 for council tax and £300 for water. This amounts to between a quarter and a third of my income. I sometimes have to pay more if extra repairs are needed. I live in a gorgeous street, in an area I've lived in for nearly 20 years and which I love and have always loved, even when people were looking down on this part of London as being crappy, I couldn't understand why as I thought it was beautiful even then. Increasingly, very wealthy people are realising just how pretty this part of London is and are flocking here and buying up the properties to rent out. Every year there have been fewer and fewer properties for sale here.I became ill a few years ago through stress relating to my abusive, alcoholic ex partner's behaviour. I won'g go into much detail but I was basically let down by him and ended up having to sell a flat I adored and which had Share of Freehold, a 50 foot private garden and which I'd worked incredibly hard to buy and do up over a number of years. I couldn't work anymore due to illness and couldn't pay my mortgage. I have absolutely no family apart from my daughter and I had almost no friends due to being with this abusive man. So, there was no-one who could help me. I tried to claim benefits and they helped me to pay only the interest on my mortgage and only for one year - this amounted to about £100 per month and it felt so very unfair, considering that much larger sums are handed out to people. I was constantly being called to interviews etc by the DSS as they didn't believe I was ill, despite doctors letters etc. I kept trying to explain I was absolutely worn out from being a working single Mum and that I'd had to live in really bad living conditions and it was only very recently that my flat had become finished and nice and I'd no family help or help from my daughter's father. I've never inherited anything and never will. I just think they didn't believe me. In the end I couldn't bear the increased stress the DSS were causing me, on top of trying to overcome my ex's behaviour and my own illness. I caved in, and I deeply regret it. I was heartbroken to sell and I split from him at the same time. I bought the only thing on the market I could afford - my current flat - and the only way to buy it was through a highly stressful "sealed bid" system which is a way of getting the most money out of buyers - you get only one bid and you've no idea what anyone else will pay.I know I paid over the odds to get my flat but I was desperate to stay in this area I loved. When they told me I'd paid the highest bid I just broke down in tears and couldn't stop crying because I'd been so terrified I'd have to move somewhere that I wouldn't feel safe. The flat itself was absolutely horrible - like a black, damp hole and I was very traumatised by having to move into it in that state AND work on such a tiny flat - I mean MAJOR works, such as building partition walls and stripping rotten wallpaper from every inch of it etc whilst living in a confined space - you name it, I had to do all of it. I could only afford to pay someone to do some of the work and it took me absolutely ages to do the rest because I was so ill I kept having to stop. It's less than half the size of my own place and has no garden; gardening was one of my great passions, it's the one thing that my mother (who was abusive to me) took time to teach me and I'm finding it very hard to live without a private one. I've done voluntary work doing up other gardens for other people and it;s nice but I just crave my own space. It does have a communal front garden that no-one cares about except me - I've made it beautiful, but there's a pub with a very public front garden seating area almost directly across the road, so I can't use this garden to sit out in privately and, if I put up taller trees etc, it will block all the sunshine to my flat.My health, now, is a LOT better, but will never be the same again. I work as a contractor, not knowing from year to year what my salary will be and this adds to the precarity of my life, but it does also mean that I have some flexibility. It's this flexibility that saved my from losing my health completely - I'm able to do a lot of my work at home and it means that, if I feel really unwell or exhausted, I can go to bed and sleep.Having been in abusive home life growing up and then an abusive partner, and having been bullied at work in the past, I had become very sensitive to being controlled by an employer, so this is almost like being self employed and my employers are really nice, though distant. Slowly I have gotten better and well, but I have to continually monitor what I eat, what exercise I do and who I see; I have to be very, very careful about what amount of stress I allow into my life otherwise I get physical symptoms. I get terribly lonely, but I am trying to work on that more.Anyway, I am very scared of the situation with the freehold and I am sick of paying these very high maintenance fees which get worse every year. There is a chance to buy a top floor flat (fourth floor) two streets away, which has a balcony and Share of Freehold. The agent has said he could try to sell mine and get me this flat for the same price, so it would be a 'sideways' move. The only thing is - and I realise this might sound very spoiled to some people - that although it's only 2 streets down, this street is one I've always disliked intensely and has a kind of reputation in the area for not being a nice street. It's not absolutely horrible, but it's the main thorough-fare through the area. The street I live on is so gorgeous that people deliberately take detours to walk down it - it's so relaxing and full of trees and beautiful buildings. As soon as I step OUT of my flat, I feel better and it just lifts me, every time I walk down it, I feel good in myself. You've no idea how much I crave having a garden in this street, because it would be my idea of heaven. Conversely, the other street is noisy with traffic and, though it does have some nice houses, is chock full of very ugly social housing blocks. The flat I'm interested in is a period, converted pub, surrounded by these blocks with communal rubbish bins out on the front. There is a bit of noise from the traffic, once you stand outside on the balcony, but it's not too bad.I would have the security of knowing I own the Share of Freehold and would be able to stay as long as I like without worrying about fees, because these are decided by the freeholders as a collective. And I would have some small, outside space for container gardening and more space to invite friends over for dinner and for my daughter to stay over with her boyfriend. However, apart form a large sliding door to the balcony, the flat only has very small, high set windows in the kitchen and bedroom. I am honestly worried I'd feel very disconnected from people, as isolation has been a big problem for me to try to overcome. Where i am, I have really lovely neighbours next door and a few doors down, and when we are in the front gardens we chat and it really lifts me up - it's the kind of thing that might not mean much to other people but, having no family, it really helps me. But I really miss being able to invite friends over for dinner etc. as there is so little space in my flat and I find I feel very,very confined when I'm inside. I'm really good at interior design and have used every 'trick in the book' to maximise the sense of space.I am so confused about what to do. Share of Freehold properties rarely come up. Some friends keep saying I am actually in a good position - I own my lease with no mortgage, it's in a beautiful street, the flat is tiny but lovely, and okay the maintenance charges are a worry but it could get a lot worse. Other friends have been much more strategic and there's a sense that I had a huge amount of potential, when younger, to do much, much better than this if I'd played my cards right. These friends all agree I made a terrible mistake staying with my ex - at 47 I am still considered by lots of people to be very pretty and attractive - and that I should have found someone else a long time ago and then I would have a whole house by now and, like them, probably second homes to rent out. I just don't know what to do. I've asked the guy downstairs if he will sell me part of his garden and he said no. I just feel at my age I should have achieved far more than this, even though it's been so hard to get this far. My daughter finds it difficult when she visits because she has to sleep in the tiny living room and the noise from the pub over the road can get very loud. She can't stay with her boyfriend, here, because honestly with three people in the flat it would be insanely cramped. She wants to have children soon and I feel so sad I will not be able to have them sleep over and enjoy staying with me for their holidays. She actually moved quite far away because she came to hate my abusive ex so much (and nearly hated me but we sorted it out) so I don't get to see her anywhere near as much as I'd like. Should I move to this larger (it's about 100 square feet bigger at the most) flat with the balcony, even though it's on a street I really don't like, but at least in an area I generally love? Or should I just stay here a bit longer and see if another Share of Freehold flat ever comes up - though it's very rare these days, it does sometimes happen..? I have to make a decision very soon, so any help or advice is really appreciated
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2015): Luck has absolutely nothing to do with my situation.I EARNED every penny of what my flat is worth.I have never inherited and never will. I started not just with nothing but with judgements and presumptions made by people who don't care about finding out the facts of someone's background and situation before they start talking about things like luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2015): I was born and grew up in London. Do you know how lucky you are? Until recently I was paying £2,000 a month to rent a flat in a decent part of London and felt fortunate. I inherited via a distant relative a bedsit with a low lease but gained enough from it's sale to buy outright a freehold 2 bed house with a garden 30 mins commute from central London. You too own your property outright so even if your lease is low and you had to take off some money I can't see how you would be badly off if you moved further away. Even with travel expenses.I work in Further Education and supplement my earnings by having several private cleaning jobs. Since you love horticulture why not work in something along that line when you are not at Uni.I know people who would kill to be in your position. I accept that your problems cloud your judgement but you have choices which most people living in London can only dream of.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2015): Thanks so much for the answers so far.Yes, I am really tempted by the idea of the long term security, even in a bad street.But I am also fed up of having to accept sub-standard housing, when I've worked almost all my adult life and had no support whatsoever from my daughter's father. I feel if there were laws in place that were more effective, then he would be forced to work to help out. We were married for two years before I had my daughter and he just abandoned us and has lived ever since, free of charge, with his mother and he has never worked so has never had to pay maintenance. My daughter and I have had to endure the stigma of being looked down on as a single parent family but with none of the assisted housing and so on that people assume we'd get, because I always chose to work, even in jobs I hated.Abella, I like your thinking, you have a very creative and yet realistic approach. I did put my name down, years ago, for a community garden space and (without my knowing) my ex partner took the phone call about it and actually "forgot" to tell me he'd made an appointment to go and see it and so they refused to see me again. When I found out what he'd done I was so upset with him - this was horrible of him because these spaces are incredibly difficult to be offered and now that I have "refused " one, I won't be offered it again. I was so angry with him for that.I am actually a university lecturer now, working in a leading uni in London, but the problem is I have not been able to build up a great profile because I spent my 20's and 30's doing office work whilst others were writing books and carving out profiles as artists. I couldn't do all that stuff because I had to be with my daughter and put food on the table. And I had to go through quite a bit of hell to get the job I have, taking huge risks because I knew if I tried to go back to office work after becoming ill I would just lose my health altogether. I have to be in the uni. some of the time but at least half of the time I can be at home, marking. Each year, my contract has been renewed and my hours have increased. The students all seem to really like me, but it's a massive uni. and very anonymous in terms of meeting colleagues - I rarely see any of them though they are nice when I do. A kind of unspoken condition with this kind of job is that you have to continually develop a profile as an academic and I now need to do something 'big' to make my mark in that world, which is why I don't really want to leave London just yet. In terms of the location of where I'd live, my situation is so crazy that I've thought of almost every possible way around it. Although small, my flat would sell for quite a lot and I've actually made a really good return on the property I did sell and probably will with this one too.For example, I actually thought of selling my property and renting somewhere here, which would cost me about £800-£1000 per month. BUT I could buy TWO other flats for freehold, one near my daughter, in Scotland, (where everything is Freehold) to do up and sell and keep repeating this until I get a bigger place each time and one abroad to rent out as a holiday home and stay in sometimes. Another idea was to rent here and keep buying up auction properties to do up and make money on - ethically, I don't like this idea, but I also feel that I've done everything I can to make my situation work and I'm just not getting rewards for it. I now know a really good workman who would be very interested in working primarily for me to keep turning over properties. I could then rent out the cheapest place I can find in this area, so that I can still get to the university and keep my bit of community presence here. I don't think I'd be able to commute from Scotland to London on a regular basis as the train and flights are very expensive now. I guess my vague idea was that I would eventually retire to be near my daughter and I'd always have the home abroad to rent out and visit. If I did really well with profits from doing up properties, I just might be able to buy another one in London.I know I would lose money renting, but I am losing money by effectively renting anyway (!) and it feels like being here is slowing everything down, not providing stability but hampering me. I could probably rent somewhere a bit nicer than where I live. And I think if I don't 'split my assets' soon, then everything everywhere will be too expensive to buy in the future.I just can't bear the thought (yet) of leaving London and where I live. Life has been traumatic and stressful, as a single Mum I've missed out on a lot, and I want to have at least some time off just enjoying being here, doing what I love, before I have to start again somewhere new. On the other hand, you may be right and it may make more sense to cut my losses now and try to get work in the city where my daughter lives and build up a community there. One way to do this might be to go back to study in the university I'd want to teach in - this can sometimes work
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (10 July 2015):
 I am glad that you have some contract work and that you can work from home as well. at best that will keep you going for ten to twenty more years (being optimistic), but then what?
Is the contract work a transferable skill that you would be able to do in other parts of the UK?
I am trying to determine how flexible your situation could become?
Is the work from home work something you do more of to bring in money if ever the contract work ceased?
I am very sorry that you currently lack a garden.
can you put your name on the waiting list for a community garden where you could have a plot to use for gardening?
Or could you look for a property that was within walking distance of a community garden plot?
I think gardening would really make you feel very satisfied and encourage good health if you also could grow your own vegetables.
You say that do have some friends. That is good, it means that you possibly make friends easily. That is a Good sign as it means you could also make new friends if you chose to live in another area.
And you could invite new friends over for coffee and cake if you had more room. Or even tea and cake outside if you had a small garden and a free hold place.
You might even be able to love to a place no more than ten miles from your daughter.
i have heard about the leasehold and freehold in the UK and it sounds like a nightmare.
The leasehold is barbaric and makes some people millions while the leasee never owns the property they only buy the right to live in it for a defined period.
The Leasee suffers and becomes poorer while the Leasor reaps all the value from the fees paid, which areoften exorbitant, plus the Leasor benefits from the capital gains that follow from a rising property market and so the Leasor becomes richer by the minute.
for those reading who need an explanation of the terms:
"In a lease arrangement, the leasor is the owner of the property or product being leased."
"Leasee: Individual who appears on a lease and is responsible for the terms present in that agreement. There may be more than one leasee on a lease.
The leasee must pay any fees that are agreed upon.
If the leasor brings about a complaint against the leasee, the leasee would be considered the defendant."
You are very focused on an area you love and you have had some health issues, though thankfully that has improved.
The reality that you need to face is that expenses will keep on rising, especially in a part of London that is going to become more attractive to others, with time.
do keep in mind that all these high expenses could cause you stress that could lead to health problems so can you do yourself a great favor by working out how to live without these huge expenses draining 24 to 33 percent of your income. That is too high.
But due to inflation and the area where you now live, your costs are going to keep rising at a faster rate than the rest of the UK.
As long as you have some access to medical facilities and are not too far away from your daughter do you really need to stay in an area of London that will soon become more expensive again?
2700 pounds annually for just the right to live there? That, if no charges increase (but they will) is 27000 pounds over ten years.
And the place is so tiny that you will not be able to easily accommodate your grand children.
I think you are pushing yourself far too hard.
Not sure of the current value of your property but you are of an age where a change could be as good as a holiday. Start googling properties further out. You are young enough to make new friends. You could, if you were prepared to go out further, get a 2 bedroom place plus a garden and buy it freehold.
Just living within close proximity to the air exhaled by people with a lot more money than you, while you eke out a not very satisfactory existence cannot be much fun.
I adore gardening. I love setting up my little mini seed raising mini glass houses and creating my own flower and vegetable seedlings. if you were prepared to move out to an entirely new community think how much fun it could be to grow all your own flowers and vegetables.
I think your current home is a millstone bringing you down.
Think long term. You will not always want to climb stairs. You will not always be content to have cars rushing past and all the noise of upwardly mobile neighbors renovating.
Yes it is a brave move to move somewhere entirely different. It is also potentially an exciting venture.
And if your current friends are true friends then they may want to come and visit you.
Look on line and try to determine what you can get for your current home.
If you annual costs keep on rising soon they will be over 3000 pounds annually. Your current income may not keep up if the costs rise to 4000 or 5000 or more annually.
Your rich neighbor sounds uncompromising so he is not going to be on your side.
Don't go to a street you do not like.
But don't limit yourself by confining your search to other very nearby places that will all eventually be hit with higher and higher charges.
Try to get the best Freehold place for the money you want to spend.
And leave some reserves.
Any place that is freehold should have ten percent of the full cost spend as maintenance and updating where required annually.
You know that Leasor rarely if ever help update the properties in any way. Instead they treat the Leasee like a cash cow.
Though even a freehold owner living in their own home also rarely do spend that ten percent of the value annually. Instead over time the place loses value as no money is spent on the place.
Your council tax in London is so high. and you are being slugged out of proportion for your property as far as maintenance.
You can always visit the area you love but it sounds like, increasingly the area you love is becoming far too expensive and you also cannot accommodate grand children in the future. And you are denied a garden
So what do you have to lose by choosing to consider a much lower priced freehold properties much further out, but on a public transport line for ease of travel
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