A
male
age
51-59,
*effers1
writes:I write with excitement and hope that my experiences might help others that have had similar problems.You may remember a post I made back on the 15th Oct 2010 titled:Girlfriend was a prostitute and slept with over 350 men before I paid for her to get out of that scene, but I'm struggling to deal with her past!Well its 18months since we met, our baby girl is 8 months old and we are still together....All those problems I had encountered in that message I have overcome and I did it because ultimately I found out that I had a rather chauvinistic view of woman, low self-esteem, was insecure and didnt believe I could be wanted by my partner.When I drilled down and found that I want a pure woman with little sexual experience etc etc it was because I wanted to be special to that person but because I didnt believe in me all I could see was her negative past rather than how great I was and that she was everything I wanted in a woman.Please no remarks about what makes me so special to think I am better than her cos I have a past to but I simply couldnt se this before. Now I can.I know this isnt a question but this is such a helpful site I thought you might like to publish something so positive given how negative I was prior to coming here.\\many thanks to you all/J
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her past, insecure, jealous, my ex, prostitute Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): I am glad you have overcome your problem and shared your story with us. We need more positive outcomes in this department.
But to say "I have the cure for Retroactive Jealousy" is kind of like saying, "I have the cure for sadness!" It presumes that everyone else's emotional problems are just like yours. Emotions are not like that. Different people, different causes and issues and experiences.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): Amazing, nice work! Any additional insight you can share certainly would be appreciated by those of us who are still struggling with this.
I knew my wife had been with men before me, but it didn't bother me very much until I found some extremely explicit emails from about 3 years ago between her and an ex in which she said she couldn't wait to bend over and have him ram his huge c*** in wet p****, etc. Unfortunately, I also found some extremely explicit close up photos of her privates that were very obviously taken right after they'd had sex (let's just say various bodily fluids were clearly visible, and she was obviously highly aroused)
He eventually dumped her in a very harsh way, and she was very hurt by this (she had also told this guy about how much she loved him in the emails as well, and basically begged him to get back with her) I still see this guy at various social events, and it's rather difficult for me. I've gotten somewhat numb to it purely from having thought about it so much, but I have not been able to get completely comfortable with it.
She frequently tells me she loves me, but she won't respond if I send her flirty text messages hinting at sex, etc. I do know she has feelings for me, but it's clear she's not into sex with me like she was with her ex.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): Thats great that you worked things out and you are still together.
Well done! I love happy endings. I find relationship problems are not all down to one person, both people have to look at their part in the relationship before they can even attempt to resolve their issues and you did that with your relationship.
Best of Luck.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): That's great to hear someone has tamed this monster in our minds. Please shed some knowledge on exactly how to do this as I really need help. Thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 I am happy to hear you have overcome this feeling.
I wish you both the happiness
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Indeed - please let us know how you overcame this.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 That's great to hear.
Perhaps you'd like to share a bit more about how you overcame your negative thoughts and feelings?
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (8 October 2011):
 What a great post. I truly wish you the best and hope your lovely lady is doing well with her and your little girl. xx
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Hi J,
I am so happy to hear a happy ending. I am glad that you are both together, that you overcame all your problems, and that you are happy & feel better about yourself.
Honestely, shows a lot of strength, and kindness of the heart to forgive someone, and accept as who they are. It's not easy, not anyone can do this, and you have. Shows not only that you are a strong man, kind, but you have a great character. I am sure you will be happy, and successful in your relationship, and in life. You prove you can do anything you want. You love this woman, and in reality, you save a life..
God bless you and your family. Best wishes, and congratulations on uour new baby.
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