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female
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*arenlisam
writes: I've been spending a lot of time with my ex boyfriend recently and for the last 2 months we've been spending time together most days or speaking on the phone if not. I knew that we werent going to get back together but was enjoying the company as I'm a single mumFive days ago his eldest son was going on holiday and he didnt get his wages until the next day so I lent him fifty pounds to give to his son as spending money. We agreed I would pop up to work with him to get his wages the next day so I got the money straight back as I borrowed the cash from my daughters nursrey fee's. I got back from work on the lunchtime to pick him up to go and get the wages and found he had already gone. I've called several times a day and left text messages but he's clearly ignoring me so I assume he's blown the money and won't answer because he can't give it backThe moneys only a small part of it as its not a small sum but its not going to send me into debt but I just feel so absolutely used that someone would blow out five years of knowing me over fifty quid.One side of me says that I should just write off the money , delete his number and just get over the fact that he's treated me like thisThe other side of me is so mad and I want answers. Should I keep calling until I get an answer and the money back. Should I go up to his work next week and collect his wages on his behalf and just take my money back from it and tell him to come and see me to get the rest .Should I lie in wait and slap him round the face with a wet kipperAs I say , the money things a part but I have big problems with closure and I know this is going to hurt for months if I don't get to find out why the hell he's done it but I can't force him to answer the phoneWhat should I do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2006): first of all, i'd be pissed. but secondly, even if the money's not important to you, you still need to get it back. because what does that teach him? that he can take from people, namely you, and you won't be strong enough to do anything about it. you've got to treat him like a dog. you let a dog get away with someonething once, and they'll think they can keep doing it. but if you're persistant, he'll learn that he can't treat you that way. and once you get the money back from him, unless he's got a damn good reason for not returning your calls, cut him off completely. i'd take his number out of your phone, the whole nine yards. because who needs people like that in your life?
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