A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in this long distance association for 1 long year now. We met through internet but we're incredibly connected. We like each other a lot and we care for each other.I first fell in love with him and asked him out, But he turned me not. It's not that he doesn't love me, but he's not ready for a long distance relationship.But both of us want to see where this relationship is leading us so we're giving it time with a great hope of seeing each other someday.We talk to each other every day and night and let each other know how much we mean to each other. At the same time, I'm challenged, bcz he's a very attractive and a popular person and has so many opportunities available around him and he keeps on telling me that he cannot predict what's gonna happen in the future so that he cannot make a promise still he's in willing to be with me like this until we meet.But he's not in a promise for a relationship so I find this situation very difficult to tolerate specially when he has a great tendency to get away with someone.At the same time, I know he truly cares for my feelings and he loves me so I 'm not in a position to walk out of his life. It's very difficult to leave someone when you know that that person is truly love you .What can I do about this situation? I'm very insecure in this relationship and I find myself constantly depressed not knowing what to do next! I sometimes put my trust in doubt and start accusing him and I know that's the BIGGEST MISTAKE I'm making here.However,whenever something goes wrong, we quickly find the best out of every situation and patch it up quickly. At the same time I buy him gifts and compose poems and notes and he appreciate them a lot.Hopefully I'd be able to see him in another one year but at the moment, I'm so pressured up and not happy being this "pity party" all the time.Could you please offer me an advice? I don't want to loose him, I just want our relationship to be happy and healthy."
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depressed, fell in love, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but this man does not 'truly love you'. You would not be living in doubt and sadness, because he would have done what was necessary to be with you.
I think you are living in a fantasy of what could be, rather than facing the reality, that this is a one-sided relationship, with you doing all the giving, including gifts, and him doing all the taking.
I think you need to treat this as a lost cause, end contact with him, and get out into real life and the real world.
I'm curious, could you tell us about the gifts you've given him? Has he ever sent you anything?
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 This relationship is not healthy and this guy has promised you nothing. Terminate all contact and start living. Go out with friends and have a life. I promise you he is not sitting by the phone and waiting for you to call - get a life and move on. The depression will get worst if you dont take yourself out the situation.
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