A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a long distant relationship for 9 months and he lives in the same country as me. Up to the first 8 months, he used to make time for me and always would message me. However, recently he has started to message me less and he would always be excuses saying he was 'too busy', when actually he was talking to friends. I confronted him about this issue and he told me he's sorry and he doesn't deserve me and how much he loves me. But since then, nothing has changed. I really love him but should i break up with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2016): Ive been in a very simular situation to this and sorry to tell you but you keep with him you will get hurt . i thought my boyfriend would improve and make more effort after i had it out with him but he never did so i ended it. your young enjoy life
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 June 2016):
 Yes, I think you should break up.
LDRS have a sense and a scope only if they won't stay LDRs indefinitely for who knows how long, and if in the meantime , before either one moves to reach the other, you can visit often and regularly. So that you can " live " the other person in a real life daily experience , and not just as a romantic fantasy.
At your age, it's very difficult that people have the money, freedom and actual chances to do that ; so there is not much point in it all in all. There is a point if , even lived from a distance, the relationship makes you feel exceptionally happy and fulfilled and loved.
But if the LDR has to bring into your life tension, anxiety, insecurity and sadness... why bother . Make it easier for yourself and go local .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 June 2016):
 I'd pull back and see if he steps up or not. If he doesn't, then I would consider it over. If he does, then maybe there is something to work on.
I think quite often people have these "pen-pal like LDR's" where they haven't met in person and don't visit each other often and they don't understand why it gets old at some point.
You are pretty young to "settle" to be with a guy you can't even give a hug or talk to face to face.
For an LDR to be successful the end goal is to BE in the same geographical are at some point a BE together in person. Otherwise, What's the point?
I would not presume he has ALL these things that keeps him so busy that you now is a low priority. If that was the truth he would have told you, instead he smears it on thick with the I love you etc. Things he KNOWS you want to hear.
Should you break up? Only you can decide that.
I'd back off and see what happens, then make a choice after that.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 June 2016):
 How old is he? Have you met in person? If yes, how often? How do you communicate (all online/texts/calls/video chat/etc.)? Is he studying/does he have exams coming up? Do your parents know about him (a little irrelevant, but important)? How do you know he's talking to friends instead of you? Does he have any mental health challenges? These are all valuable things to know to answer this question in the best way for your situation. If it can't be resolved, then breaking up will be inevitable, unfortunately.
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