A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I wish you could all give me a little advice, and tell me what you think. I am 30 years old and I've been in a LDR for about 4 years. My bf and I have been through some really ups and down. We have had fight about the distance, trust, dishonesty, etc. In our relationship, I think I am the weakest, since I am completelly in love with him. On the other hand, I don't think he is that in love with me. I am the one traveling to his place, and I am the one moving over to his place and leaving my life behind.I am moving over to his place by the end of this month, but I have all these doubts about his love over me. From what I understand is that when a man is in love with a woman, he will try to do anything to be with the woman he loves, but I don't think this is the case. He did not give me any b-day gift, christmas's gift, or valentines's. He did not come to visit me for 6 months straight, I had to visit him 'cause I couldn't be without him. A couples of months ago, I found out he was flirting with a girl that he had met. And the list goes on and counting. The reason I want to move in with him is to give a relationship a chance to work. Maybe, the distance has interfere with what we could've have together. But, if the relationship was not working from distance, would it work once we live together? Does he love me as I love him?I am moving over to his place by the end of this months, but I have so many doubts about his love for me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): sweetie, I have been in a long distance relationship for 6 years and trust me, any man who doesn't see you at christmas, birthdays, let alone get you presents, and who can go 6 months without seeing you is really not that into you. take my advice, dump him, value you yourself and get a man who really cares about you.
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (29 March 2009):
 Yes, you see he's simply keeping you hooked on his line. this means he does not show you much interest or say he loves you even though he might do so. he makes you perceive he's chasing another girl to make you "think" he's not interested in you all that much but its likely he really is.
You see all that action makes you chase him more, which is what you are doing anyway.
It's normal for a guy or a girl to do that in the initial stages of a relationship, but not over four years. it seems as though he's having difficulty in taking the next step in the relationship simply because he might not know how.
Now I know this may be difficult to understand but if you try and look outside of your shoes. do you really think that if its so one way that he's fully romantically into you or are you just a girl who calls him up and the sex is good? And if there has been tension about the distance and him not coming to you then that in itself is your evidence.
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