A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, i'm a college student who already has a daugther (3months) with my boyfriend who goes to college with me, he moved to my place and our family helps us with the baby, i really love my boyfriend but he's too lazy, he says he wants to study but he doesn't make any effort, he's failing quizzes, he doesn't go to class and i tried so many times to help him, to encourage him, even i started acting like his mother, he has been like this about 2 years ago. The worst part i have an scholarship and i want to keep on studying abroad, i wanted that since my childhood and now i cannot study abroad because if i take my baby with me and without my boyfriend (because i've been thinking on dumping him and being a single mom) i won't have time to study but if i leave her with my family i will suffer a lot, i really love her, that's why i need my boyfriend to be there with me but without finishing college i won't be able to take him with me... He says he acts like that because he's depressed but i wonder how can it be possible if he lives with me, my family and his family loves him and our daughter, his family doesn't have money issues, he has everything, i really love him and he knows that but i'm getting sick of this situation. What can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2012): Thanks a lot for your advice. Yes, we talk a lot about it and it has been like this about 2 and a half years ago. Even he doesn't like doctors i decided to talk to a therapist, i really love him and i guess now he needs more than ever. Thank you so much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): If he is suffering from depression it will not be influenced by who loves him or what material things they have. Depression is an awful illness that can strike down anyone, even those who seem to `have it all`.
So ask him to go to his doctor for evaluation and treatment. Then he can start to recover and become the person he should be x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): You need to get your boyfriend to see someone, to talk to someone.You say he has "everything" - but I assume he is your age? He is young, does not have a career or any idea about life yet and he already has a child. Was the child planned?There could be a lot going on in his head that you are unaware of. Do you talk about your feelings? Do you know why he feels blue? Do you ask?Has he always been like this, or is it a recent development?Depression is not always a situational thing - it could be chemical, biological. Chemical imbalances in the brain (such as bipolar) can make people depressed even if there is no particular explantion for it. Women often get moody around their time of the month for no apparent reason...You need to talk to him - actually sit down and have a serious talk to him. He needs to see a doctor or someone that can help him with what he is feeling. It could be as simple as needing some medication and he could feel a lot better.Please give the guy a chance to get better - to become happy and motivated again before dumping him. It might not be his fault.
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