A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been together for 7 yrs married for 5yr. We have always had a great relationship and a great sex life. Recently he got a new job that takes him out of town for the first week of every month. Ever since he came home the last time, he is different in bed. Before he was reserved, now he is rougher(not hurting me in any way) and saying things and talking dirty. He is always wanted to try something "new" (positions and things like that) I never once thought before that he would cheat on me but with the new attitude I am now afraid. Do you think his new desires are from cheating or am I worrying about nothing.
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female
reader, malibu1  +, writes (11 May 2010):
ask him talking is the key.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): From what you've said he is most probably NOT cheating - just trying out new things. LOTS or men are afraid that they aren't any 'good' and they finally get the courage to try things out. The reason why this has shocked you is because he hasn't talked to you about what he wants to do - and why would he? :P I know that even very close partners can have trouble discussing their sex life - it's easier just to let it happen in the moment. But, as anything is possible and this has been known to be a sign of cheating (not often the case but can happen) do keep an eye out, but otherwise enjoy what he has in store - he probably isn't cheating.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Maybe he wants to spice it up? I would ask him. So many married people don't talk about sex. They really should.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Or is he working with out men, it could be locker room talk and he is getting ideas from that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Absence could be making the heart grow fonder, time away from you might be making him realise how much he loves and wants you. Another idea is that he could be watching porn when he is away. I know a lot of women have issues with their man watching porn, but I know which I would prefer mine was doing if he was away from me.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 May 2010):
 I think there is another possibility, he's gotten some ideas from looking at porn. Which can be a good thing sometimes, especially if he gets little hints to liven things up.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (11 May 2010):
 I think you're quite right, his behaviour is a flag. Not conclusive by any means, but definitely a flag. Keep your eyes open for other signs, but it's far too soon to accuse him of anything.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 May 2010):
There are two possibilities. One, is that he is cheating and he's learning these things elsewhere. The other is that him going away sometimes has made him more lustful and he just comes back wanting it. If you think he is cheating, you need to do a little more digging before you can be sure.
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A
male
reader, Tolex  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Just stil take ur time, dont just conclude it could be due to d stress hs goin thru in hs new working place
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Women's instinct is a very real & reliable thing... generally if you suspect something is up, something is up... but it doesn't follow that he's cheating.
Perhaps while he's staying away, he's watching porn and getting ideas & fantasies. Maybe it's something that has turned him on for a while and he is just going through an inventive phase.
Talk to him and ask him where it's coming from. Don't feel that you have to ask him if he's cheating, but you can always phrase it that you've noticed the difference, you're enjoying the variety and is this something that's part of something bigger or something that has been a turn-on for him for a while etc... and if there's more surprises to come ;)
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