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female
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anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm 17 (18 tomorrow) I am usually outgoing and optimistic but lately I feel like I am just watching my life through a glass wall. I've had this feeling before a few times since I was about 15 and it leaves me drained. I'll have maybe an hour or so a day of feeling OK, but I know that eventually I'll seep back into this sort of pessimistic dreamlike state. I feel like anything I do counts for nothing because it's not really me who's doing it. I know it'll probably go after a month or so but it's horrible. I make myself carry on socialising and seeing friends but when I do, I just seem to be trapped at the back of my mind while someone else is controlling my movements and speech. Sometimes I just start crying for no reason. A couple of months back me and my ex had to break up even though we were crazy about each other because he moved away. We agreed to not contact each other for a while to try and move on, but about a week ago he was reported as missing. I am terrified something's happened to him and no one else really knows what to say to me so I'm sort of stuck with it on my own. Maybe this is why I feel like a puppet all the time? I don't know. The whole depersonalisation thing is making me fail college, which just makes it worse.Does anyone else ever feel like this?Can anyone help me please? xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all thanks very much for the feedback and Rasputin - I'm not about to commit suicide.
Just wanted to let you all know that my ex called me to say he's back and he's ok, and I ran round the house screaming for about 5 minutes. Now I can at least relax and focus on my life a bit more.
I still feel a bit detached, but I think now I'm not worrying about that it'll get better.
Thank you all for the support! XXX
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): Listen, what you're experiencing, and which you have described so well, is perfectly normal. It is not fun, but it is perfectly normal. Anyone of any age can experience that feeling of depersonalization and feeling cut off; the fact that you're describing it does you credit.
I am so sorry about your boyfriend. You love him and he seems to have disappeared. What a terrifying thing to happen. Of course you want to cry. Of course you don't want to "socialise". No wonder you are shutting down, it is self- protection.
You say you are kind of stuck with it. But is there really no-one you can just spend quiet time with, and maybe talk to? Do you have mutual friends you can share this with?
But anyway hang on in there. And deal with things in the moment, is my advice at the moment. You can't control what happens to other people, but you can take care of yourself. And if that includes taking the pressure off yourself to be outgoing, then please do! That may be your normal self, but you are experiencing an abnormal time.
And you seem like a very intelligent young person. Fear of failing college must add to the strain, but I advise going to see a senior teacher and explaining the situation. You don;t have to say your boyfriend has gone missing, just say a close friend. They should be able to help practically (reducing homework etc) or by suggesting a counsellor or other pastoral support. You will live up to your potential, don't worry.
"All will be well, and all manner of things will be well"
with love, respect and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, Rapustin  +, writes (15 November 2008):
happy birthday,
pls don't call a psychic, try 2 relax, and always know that life is beautiful, think 'bout the good times u 've had, if u have an elder sibling, go and talk 2 him or her, tell them how u feel, u'd be suprised how much help they can be,
dis iz like de ja vu 4 me my sista made these comments u r makin...
before she commited suicide...
2 think she even saw a therapist.
life iz beautiful remember that ok...
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 I think I know what you are describing even though no two people feel these strange emotions the same.
Could you feel like you don't really fit in and don't have deep connections with others? Alienated sort of? YOu could just be a very sensitive person.
I've never done this before but if you have a cell phone are you able to call 800 numbers in the US? There's a very good phone psychic I talk to on occasion and he is almost better than talking to a therapist.
It isn't cheap so I limit my calls to him to 15 minutes and he is able to give a lot of information when you ask a very clear question. If that interests you the place is California Psychics and his name is Randall.
There is nothing wrong with you other than you have very deep emotions and sound sensitive to your environment. You might even be good at reading tarot cards as well! lol
Hope you feel better. I used to get those very eerie feelings during a full moon or at certain parts of town that make me feel so all alone in the world and disconnected like being inside of a bubble.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): Awwe huni you've been through a lot.You're just really down and worried about your friend! You're not depressed, just feeling very down and worried which can take over your thoughts.. Make sure you're eating and getting a good sleep, exercise also helps release hormones which makes you feel good.. go for power walks every day, meet up with positive happy people who make you laugh and you'll soon start feeling better! :)
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