A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel so insecure about my body these days, I know I'm not at the peek of physical fitness but I am an active person and feel like I shouldn't have to be the guy rippling with muscles and washboard abs. What I want to know is...Women how much does the physical shape of a man matter to you? Does larger always mean less attractive?If so why?If not then what really is important?
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insecure, muscle Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): In a guy, I would like a bit of muscle, but not really OTT. Facial features are a plus for me, but personality is too, and more for me.
But everyone's opinions are different thought. Bare that in mind.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Listen, most women are gonna lie when it comes to this because they really don't wanna appear shallow or hurtful.
Looks are important to both sexes. Would you go out with a female version of yourself? I didn't think so.
Look after yourself, maybe work out a bit. But remember hygiene and presentation too.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 October 2008):
Are you saying you would only go out with a woman with a flat tiny stomach and enormous boobs?
If you will consider some girls with a bit of chunk then you can accept that some girls will consider you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 October 2008):
Ask yourself the same question. Not everybody is going to be attracted to the same type of person. However, are you TRULY attracted to someone who isn't very secure with themself or just not very physically attractive? Not every girl likes guys with bulging muscles. Some like skinny guys, normal guys, heavier guys, or very muscular. Like others said...it's about confidence and how you carry yourself. Being attracted to someone based on looks isn't necessarily shallow either. It IS shallow to base attractiveness purely on looks considering that a guy can be attractive until he opens his mouth. People are naturally drawn to each other based on looks because it means "good genes."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Looks mean everything to both woman and man. There are rare exceptions. I.e where a woman will date a man because of his status, but invariably she looks for an attractive man as a bit on the side.
Few women will admit the truth because it makes them appear shallow. Men are more likely to admit to the truth.
But ask yourself this. What kind of women are you looking at and wanting to appear handsome too?
Yes you guessed it, it's not the ugly Bettys of this world is it?
Why not date someone of the same standing in attractiveness as you. Even better date someone you would consider less attractive.
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A
female
reader, confusedgirl89 +, writes (28 October 2008):
Personality is more important, but the most important to me is decency. Looks are a plus!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers so far, they have been helpful. I am feel more confident now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I've always gone for different types of men and in all honesty muscle obsessed men are annoyingly self centred though muscles can look good. I prefer a more natural man with a beer gut - most people don't believe me but I think imperfections are beautiful. Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, feelsgoodwoman +, writes (28 October 2008):
Confidence is the MOST important quality. Looks mean a little don't get me wrong, but if you have the attitude of a rockstar you'd get my attention! Eventually the looks go anyways and a real woman wants a man that can think beyond that. So buck up and take pride in the person you are and not what you look like all the time, as long as you try we women see the effort!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I haven't been attracted to someone based on their physical appearance for years now. A guy could be the hottest hunk in the world...but if he has the intelligence of a box of hammers, I still wouldn't spend five minutes with him.
Just speaking from my own perspective here--larger doesn't mean less attractive to me, unless you're talking obese. I am an active person and tend to want someone I can take hiking with me, since that's something I enjoy doing. I actually had this same conversation the other day...people say it's shallow to judge on appearances and to some extent it is. Especially if it's something you can't change, like the color of someone's eyes or the shape of their nose.
Past a point, however, if someone is too overweight...that says to me that he or she doesn't care enough about themselves to identify the problem and make a positive change in their life. That is a pretty big turn-off to me, not because of the appearance but because of the thought process it takes to stay that way. However, it does not sound like this is your problem. Keep looking...you will find a girl who is not shallow and loves you for who you are!
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