A
male
age
41-50,
*lackbug5679
writes:I honestly am a very confused man who longs to make his wife happy. I thought my wife and I were happily married for many years and with 2 beautiful children things appeared to be working out well. She stays at home and although money is tight we are getting by. Until earlier this year when life began to change.My wife had told me in Dec. she was feeling depressed and we agreed to work on us during the new year. Then in March things began to chnage. She started going out and although I let it happen it became overwhelming - at least for me. Then her girlfriend wanted to go to Vegas and the trip was booked. It bgan to spiral out of control and I became very angry arguing with her actions and behavior. Then an email was discovered which raised several questions brought up some lies and stirred up some deep hurt for me. She cancelled the trip and we agreed to go away together. 5 days after we returned home a mysterious text came in and I left. When I came home the next day she said she wanted a seperation and left for the most part of a month. Although she was at home - she would leave when I got home. I noticed the cell phone began to double and discovered she had two new guy "Friends" I did not know about. Since then - she has recently explained several events, swears nothing happened, and told them she had to work on us. We are going to go to counseling but before we walk in and emotionally/financially invest in this process I have several questions. 1. Why throughout all of this does it appear that I am doing all the work to restore the relationship? She says its because we were on a "sepeartion"2. If so, why was it sooo damn easy for let go so quickly?3. Why although I was constantly saying it in the beginning why won't she say I love you anymore?4. and Finally, it appears as if we are dealing with dangerously low levels of self esteem on her part since these other guys made her feel good about herself. Why doesn't she realize the damage that causes me? i.e. emotional cheating. - Why does it appear she has been in COMPLETE CONTROL of the situation when I almost feel as if I have done nothing short of yell out of fear of losing my wife?Ladies, please help - a bit confused and wondering why/if it is still there? You know us guys have emotions as well - and as far as self esteem goes everyone and I mean everyone has low levels at times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): i know i'm not a lady but i read your question anyway. this sounds really really complicated. you definitely need the marriage counseling because this is a pretty big issue.
i really feel for you and your kids.
best of luck.
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