A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:if i asked my friend on a social networking site not to hint about my pregnancy as not everyone knows nor do i want everyone to know, only a couple of weeks before i pop, do you think i am being reasonable in this request? After all, if things don't go well and something bad happens, personally i'd like some people out there that i could go to that wouldn't look at me differently or treat me different because of such a loss. It would help me cope. Plus i have other reasons for not blabbing, as well as the fact people i don't know well or haven't seen in years shouldn't in my opinion know every little thing that is going on in my life. I'm still me whether a mummy or not, i'm proud and not hiding ... just want my privacy really. My family and close friends know and people in my close circle but everyone else is are unaware. My friend got mad at me and offended, telling me to get over myself and when i tried to explain why, she just wouldn't even consider my point of view. That is my life, my choice, she is my friend and should either try to see my point or let it be if she doesn't. Its my life, not hers. She lost a baby - she should know how much hurt that caused her and how much other's peoples' pity and sympathy could make it all that much worse ... people not knowing what to say or do. Okay, lossing baby is fear but not main issue ... basically, i have my reasons for not blabbing and personally i think she should as a friend respected that but she's fallen out big style with me. Okay, a few things were said by both of us, neighter one backing down and thinking they were right, but do you think i'm being totally unreasonable like she does? Am i wrong? I know, you weren't involued in conversation but still - do i seem like an irrational idiot, too full of myself? I know, not really a big deal when people are dying or having wars in the world. Just up set me so thoought i would ask your opinions, don't need to agree with me - just helps venting too. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (14 August 2010):
 their are lots of people who dont want to jinks things waiting to see if it goes almost full term so i would say no its not unreasonable to ask for it to be kept a secret! i think you just want to be safe and not have more drama to deal with if anything does go wrong. she is ment to be your friend and fufil your privacy wishes thats what friends are for but if she is not going to do what you want with your life then perhaps its for the best that you take a step back and let her get on with her own life as you mentioned she has her own issue still to cotend with. good luck all the best in the future aphex xx
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