A
male
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:This is embarrassing thing to talk about but it is all anonymus so I guess that makes it ok. I am sorry if I say anything not okay but seems like people talk a lot on this site about a lot of things and it is very open and they talk about very personal stuff and about sex also. I have questions about masturbation. I am a guy and I am now a teenager and I have puberty and all that.1. A girl I know was texting me and wanting to know personal stuff like what do I do and touch myself and how often and it was exciting to be asked but weird and I do not know her well enough to know if she would share what I say and plus I don’t want to be a freakzoid so I told her I don’t think I should talk about that with girls and she said something rude so I am happy I did not share my information no matter how fun it was she was talking about sex stuff. What do y ou think on that one? I am pretty sure that was smart play.2. Is there like too much like too many times in a row or too many times over total to ejaculate. I can wait sometimes for days if I keep busy with other stuff and like try to do normal things not about sex but when I do start it is like one time is never enough and I like it so much I just want to make it happen again and fun to see how many times I can do it without breaks but I think I am like addicted to fun it feels and like go for hours instead of falling asleep and just make myself hard over and over and like imagine I have to do it to prove myself I can keep going.3. I made a thing with bubble wrap like for packing stuff and tape that fits like perfect over my erection and I use baby oil and it is better than anything and I just never want to stop it sometimes. But I ran out of the baby oil and used tanning oil. Is using that stuff ok? I don’t want to do something stupid. I mean both are for the skin right? 4. Will doing this a lot help me be better at real sex or will it mess me up because I am doing it too much? Should I take breaks like a week off or does that even matter? If I time myself and to not lose control longer and longer would that be good for having sex wit a girl someday? Like training for sports? Or is that just dumb.5. I don’t need to know details but do girls do stuff to themselves a lot or just sometimes or is this mainly a guy thing?6. I know it is like a sin but also normal and there is like probably some balance but I think I am a little obsessed and it is worse on days when a girl talks to me or flirts and I sort of go overboard thinking about it. Will I probably calm down if I get a girlfriend or will it just get worse? Those are all my questions. If this not posted I will know I asked too much or said things too detailed or sexual. I apologize for doing that if I did and will not be mad about it. signed Tanner (as a joke cause of the sun tan oil)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 May 2022):
 I will preface this answer with this. A YOUNG teen should really ask too many strangers on the Interweb for advice on sexual matters. Because there are plenty of people that are JUST not safe. And I think you need to remember that. I would suggest you talk to your dad. It will be awkward, no doubt. But he is a (hopefully) good person to talk to that you can trust. Yes, I know it's an odd thing to talk to your parent about but, HE was once a teen too, you know?
Now I have answered it, hoping it will give you some idea of what to talk to dad about. And because I think it's OK to answer in vague terms. Hope that works for you.
1. you did the right thing. You don't OWE anyone ANY details about something as private as that. Ever. Plus she might just have been looking to get some "dirt" on you to gossip about. That also goes the other way, don't pry into what girls do or don't do. Ya know?
2. Learning a little self-control is perhaps in order?
3. Don't use tanning stuff. No idea what is in it. Lube is cheap. You can get it at Walgreen or any store really. Just buy it at self-checkout. Also, the bubble wrap might not be the most sanitary thing to use, as you can't keep it clean and it seems a "perfect" thing for mold to grow in.
4. Again, self-control, buddy. While I think it's pretty natural for a teenager to "discover" their body and enjoy it, I also think it's important to not let the "want to wank" control you. Also, STAY away from porn. It will give you a very skewed view of sex and what is good to do. It's FAKE and much of it is downright harmful.
5. Probably. Just like it's not anyone's business what you do, it's not your business what girls do, right? But yeah urges are urges. Most people get them. Basic biology.
6. Is it a sin? I'm not a Christian. I think it really comes down to self-control again. It shouldn't take over your every waking moment or be in "charge" of you. And can it harm "things" when you get a GF if you masturbate a lot? yes, and no. You are CONDITIONING your body to a certain "grip" and a certain "feel" that is not quite the same. However, sex is not something ANYONE is "born" being good at.
Now, go talk to your dad.
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