A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ AND ANSWERI just had sex a few hours ago for the first time and it hurt a lot which I was expecting I didn't bleed...I dont regret having it but I did not feel any pleasure at all and now that I think sex is all talked up and it wasn't a big deal am I wrong?? or will I feel pleasure the second time which I'm planning on doing tomorrow night..Is it going to hurt again?? How can I make it that I enjoy it??please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): my first time was the same, and my second and my third...
the trick is to relax you may not have realised it but most of the structure of you vagina is muscles which expand and lubricate naturally when you are sufficiently aroused, thus allowing entry to the penis to become more comfortable for both you and your boyfriend.
let him arouse you with his hands whilst you lay down. this builds up trust for you and lets him start to know where your sensitive areas are.
when you feel naturally lubricated then move into slow penatrative sex. the first few thrusts will be painful but it starts to feel good after a while.
xxx
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 I guess you did everything you could to make it okay. Remember that you don't need to rush it and have sex again if you're scared of it or it is upsetting. Just play without intercourse, there are lots of ways to have pleasure without penetration. Perhaps if you explore these, you might find yourself eager to try again, rather than being so reluctant right now. It's okay to wait a bit, then try again in a week or a month or several weeks or months. There's no timetable for this. Write your own rules!
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell today we used heaps of lube we waited nearly a whole bottle and we took everything slow had protection everything it just hurt soo much that im scared to do it again...but thanx every1 4 your replys
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 November 2008):
I think how you're feeling is perfectly normal. The first time is loaded with expectations and rarely are those met. So you get a sense of 'what is all the fuss about? That was NOT enjoyable and frankly uncomfortable.'
Right, first thing is to read qcumber's answer very carefully and also the other aunts. It WILL get better with practice and patience, I promise.
Second, remember that sex isn't just a destination, it's a whole journey and the key is to focus on each leg of the trip. You might be rushing too fast to the 'act'... he needs to slow down, you need to slow down, you both need to relax and not rush things. Play around, laugh, have fun, explore, feel, experience. Don't just make it a manual, 1. Kiss 2. Fondle 3. Enter 4. Thrust 5. Repeat. And if he's skipping steps 1 and 2 because he's so ready, just remind him that you're not.
Relax, lubricate, play, stop if it hurts too much. The idea is that with enough practice, you're going to be aching for him to be inside you. And if you've got the right guy and you know your body well, I promise that will happen.
Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): take things slow and lots of touching and kissing or maybe you could try oral.lots of people are different my 2nd time wasn't painful it gets better and better after the first time. but make sure your really comfy and in the mood.
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A
female
reader, Asked Angel  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 FIRST sweetheart you need to relax. If your tense it's bound to be sore. Was there any foreplay? Did you use any lubricante? This can help it may hurt for the first few times but it is definatly worth it when you get it right. Be careful which lubes you use because they can affect condoms but the most important thing is too relax. Hope this helps honey xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): it always hurts the first time. the second time might be uncomfortbale but it won't hurt like the first time does. it's usually just the first couple-few times that are uncomfortable but after that it's fine.
hope i helped
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A
male
reader, Boredatwork +, writes (12 November 2008):
 It is likly to still hurt for the next few times, untill your body becomes use to it, then you will start to enjoy and see what its all about :)
Make sure you relax your body and that you are fully in the mood, maybe try lubrication and see if that helps...
But dont tense up! it will just make thins worse.. rest asuhured it will get better :D
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