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Just got married to a wonderful man, but I'm in love with my best friend

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2010)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

*OP's own title*

Hello Cupid,

I'm extremely conflicted, I just got married to an amazing guy who I love like a friend (he feels the same way but we have four kids so it seem to be the right thing to get married). Here is the issue, I have been in love with my best friend for 10 years, he is the only person I have every really loved like that, he makes me breathless. I told him about it a few years ago and he was not in the same place so I let it go, buried it. Now at my wedding he told me he finally realized he is in love with me too. I know I can not leave my husband but I just don't know what to do with my best friend and the way I feel about him. Any insight would be great!

Cheers T

View related questions: best friend, wedding

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (8 May 2010):

Your best friend has played a terrible game, and really it shows that he's very selfish, more than anything else. That's the problem. He's not that great a guy, no matter what you think. He had all the time in world to tell you, and then he told you at the wedding. How selfish and appalling. That should be enough for you to stick with your husband who does love you. I think you need to cut your best friend out of your life, to be honest. I think if you don't you risk ruining your marriage and hurting your husband for no reason at all. So I think you have to make the right choice for your marriage and cut your best friend out. If you don't, you might end up having an affair and hurting a good man.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (8 May 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntYou can crate your own mapping. The best friend is high spiritual ideal, and allow in your mind to live like high ideal only, which is unapproachable but worship able like god.

Human choice cannot follow social ideal all the time, is my vision so I put on record such comments.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (8 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntYou need to shift your focus on to your marriage and put those thoughts about your best friend into your archives.

The dice has already been cast and you should not turn back nor think that he is the better man.

Everything happens for a reason and you will find out somewhere down the road that your marriage is fated. It is your destiny.

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