A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a dilemma and would like your advice, please. Having been single for 9 months (I broke up with my ex bf of 9 years after finding out he was cheating on me for the second time) and thinking that I was no longer interested in relationships, I have suddenly found myself in a situation of having two guys interested in me at once, and don't know how to play it. So, guy 1: chatted a few times at work, think he's sweet, handsome, have a few things in common. He's subtley flirty at times, and has asked me to meet up with him for dinner this weekend. I don't really know him that well, but think he seems nice and would like to get to know him better. Guy 2: introduced by a friend last week over dinner, thought he was handsome, very clever, had similar sense of humour to me, lots in common job wise. Didn't think anything more of it, but he practically begged my friend for my number telling her I blew him away (not that I was trying to at all!) and has been texting/calling ever since, being pretty flirty, and has said he wants to get to know me better. Thing is, I know he's kinda dating another woman that he works with (they've only been out once or twice though, and people think she's trying to get with him to have a status symbol, as he's more senior to her). I wonder if he's a bit of a charmer/ladies man, and was shocked that he was interested in me. My friend tells me this is my lack of confidence from my last relationship, and that I should just go along and spend some more time with him, but she'd really like it if we got together. So my dilemma is in choosing between these two guys. I think Guy 2 might be after more of a fling, which might be ok, but I'm a little worried that I might end up feeling rejected, which might set me back (as I have spent months getting over what happened with my ex, and have only started feeling my normal happy self in the last few months). I'm thinking of spending some more time with both of them and seeing what happens, but would be grateful for any advice. xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): Don't pursue either just because you like the idea of having a new man, especially in the friend or a friend scenario when you may have social encounters with the in future. However if you genuinely feel some personal spark might be there with these two men then I think you you should go on a date with each of them and see if there is more to it with either of them. Make sure its 'hands off' until you've figured out if there is something more with one of them - both to be fair on them, and also to give you self a boundary not to get suckered into something when you're not ready. Have fun :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): Ask yourself what you're looking for. To me it seems like you think you should be interested in them because it seems like a good thing to start dating again and 2 good catches have shown interest in you. Are you really, honestly interested in either of these guys? If not, I suggest you wait until someone comes along that you're genuinely interested in...
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