A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just friends with Benefits?I am new to this kind of thing, but I needed a real third party perspective on a questionable situation. Bottom line is, I like my friend. We are both in our early 20’s and have been friends since freshman year of college. When I met him we both were in relationships but he was a very kind and sweet person. We both found ourselves single about a year later and started talking regularly. We had a normal friendship, watching movies together going to parties what most young people do. I at one point let my physical attraction for him show and we “hooked up” one night after a party at my friends. Obviously he had the same attraction where as we started to “hook up” regularly. We always could talk to one another about almost everything and that friendship made me start to like him. I couldn’t tell him I liked him so nothing came about it and we went our separate ways. During the last two years we “hooked up” on and off even at times when we both were with other people. With in the past few months we both ended relationships with others and found our way back to one another. ( for comfort, maybe) He would tell me how much he still liked holding me and cuddling with me, and of course I still enjoyed it too. We have been occasionally hanging out and sometimes while hanging out we have “hooked up”. I recently have went through some deaths and he would be there for me to listen to me talk, even though now we live over an hour away. We still make the effort to hang out. I told him recently that I liked him, over a text, and received no reply. ( that is what I always dreaded was being rejected by him) A few days went by and nothing so I text him again. He text back as if everything was normal. He invited me to come hang out and so I did. During that night he acted as if the texts I sent him about liking him didn’t even exist, and I was not about to bring it out on our fun night out. That night he told me that I was pretty, and wanted to hold my hand as we walked down the street and I complied. That night we also hooked up after some cuddling, and the next morning as well with some extra cuddling. We got up and got ready for our day as if we were so comfortable even taking a shower together. Its been 3 days and I haven’t heard from him. Is this a sign that I am just a fling? Should I try to tell him again how I feel or should I let it go? Was him ignoring my earlier texts a sign that he doesn’t like me? What am I to him? Is this so called friendship, even worth anything or am I just his friend with benefits?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 September 2007):
You have to decide whether you're going to continue to play a game or give hime a real choice. You need to do this face to face.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 September 2007):
 You're in your 20's not a child anymore, but acting like a teen as you are bouncing around the question.The next time you see him or he comes by for some action, look at him and ask are we just friends or are we in a relationship together. Hell, you're having sex, he's seen you in your birthday suite, you're beyond having to hold back from asking him.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 Maybe he is just shy and doesnt know how he feels or is afraid to tell you, or maybe he doesnt want to ruin what you have,but if your happy just being friends with benefits you never know something more might happen and things will just work out
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A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 It sounds to me as friend with benefits, but it doesn not have to mean it.You have to discover by urself. Maybe you should talk to him, why hiding ur felleng? If he doesnt accept at least you ll know where ure standing
Thats just my way of looking things
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