A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this guy for a couple of months but we decided to end it after I found out he was still seeing other people behind my back. He lost his daughter just after we started seeing each other and has two other kids. This was a really hard time for him and his family as you can imagine. How ever I have just found out i am pregnant with his child.we were always very careful...but i guess not careful enough. I am 30 and have a 9 year old daughter who I have raised by myself and she doesnt see her father by his choice not mine. He is 36 with 2 girls about the same age as my daughter. I told him I was pregnant today and he wants me to have an abortion. I told him its deffinantly somthing im considering but as I have just found out I need more time to decide and think about things propley. I asked him what would happen if i decided to have the baby, would he see he or she and want to be apart of the babies life, but he said no, he doesnt want this as things are really hard enough at the minute with the death of his daughter and he has just has to move back in with his ex and two girls as his wife has had a break down with the death of there youngest. which i can totally understand. But im actually really upset that he has decided not to be apart of it. I asked him if he wanted me to let him know what I had decided once I have but he said no he doesnt want to know. But then he said if I want to talk to him about things to just call him and even offered to come to be with me if had abortion..I politley declined. Im a bit upset about the whole thin g. I do0nt iknow what to do, what to think about things and I dont understand him and all the crap hes saying. Can anyone help. I cant do this on my own again, I dont want to do this on my own again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Hi Just wanted to say thanks for helping me with my question. They were both very helpful in making me feel better about the situation Im in. I have decided to keep the baby and raise it on my own. My ex is not very happy about the whole thing and has chosen to not be apart of his childs life. Says he has just moved back home to look after the kids and that he cant do that to his ex and two daughters. He actually put it as I have destroyed his life! Im not very happy at the moment about raising the baby on my own...wanted it to be propper next time with me being in a loving healthy relationship or marriage, but i guess sometimes things dont go quite as planned. I do have alot of family around to help and support me which is good. And im happy my daughter who is nine years old finally gets a brother or sister. I know she will be excited about that. But I am worried about what people are going to say and think about me raising the child on my own again. I know its silly and I shouldnt care what people think, but i do. But anyway thanks for your support and help. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 July 2009):
 I'm sorry he is grieving, but he is being an utter JERK. HE got you pregnant, not you all by yourself.
I can understand that you don't want to do this alone. I doubt any woman really does.
As I see it, it is now 100% up to you. Pretend he's not there. Out of reach. Sit down and weigh the pro/cons. Personally I am both Pro-Life and Pro-choice. I know to some that doesn't make sense. But I will explain.
I believe putting people ( a baby) in to the world "just" because a girl got pregnant is not always the right thing. Specially if neither of the parents wants this child.
However I don't believe in using abortion as birth control either. That is utterly disrespectful.
I have 3 children. We had planned on 1. Sometimes there are other plans for us then expected. 3 kids is a lot of work. A lot of joy. A lot of love. I raise them most of the time all by myself because of my husbands job. Even if I some days are at my wits end, I would still have a 4th child rather then an abortion.
Personally I could never terminate another life, but I don't disrespect or look down upon women who makes that choice.
No matter what he says, he WOULD have to be financially responsible for the child. I know you don't care about the money aspect, you want a Daddy for the baby.
I suggest you go see your doctor and get some counseling to figure out what to do. This is a choice ONLY you can make.
My heart goes out to you.
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