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female
,
anonymous
writes: I just got engaged last month, and I always knew that my fiance was planning on going to Florida with his friends in the month of March, but now it is extended to Feb. also because he's buying a golf cart to drive around. I'm coming to visit him on my spring break for a week in april. Am I crazy to be a little hurt and mad that he is going that long? He says he always goes that long. (He's been going for ten years). He also is contradicting. He says he doesn't think it's a big deal if he dances with other girls because he says it's not cheating. I just don't understand why he would even want to....we just got engaged! Am I overreacting?
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male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Is it possible that the reason he got engaged before the trip was to put a sort of chastity belt on you, while he knew that he would be free as a bird on his Florida fling?
Tell him you're going to be going out dancing and having fun while he's gone. You can also tell him that you're planning on taking a class in "How To Do Table Dances" while he's gone. If he thinks the engagement ring was going to put you in a gilded cage, he better think again.
That just might shorten the trip by a few weeks. . . or he might not leave at all. LOL.
A good dose of "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander" works miracles some times. LOL.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 hi
i think u are a bit overreacting, however its normal to feel like he is negleting you. just remember u are just engaged not married yet if u were married and he is planning a trip with buddies then u have every reson to worry. i think it is only fair if u let him enjoy his trip this year just tell him that u understand he has to go this year but u dont think it will be appropriate if he continues with it after marriage unless u are coming along.
talk about this issue before u even get into marriage so that u have the same understanding and u respect each others' feelings. well dancing with other girls i dont think is cheating as long as he is not crossing any boundries. i think u guys have diffrent personalities its like there are few things if not a lot that u dont seem to approve of him, learn to let your thoughts out u might find that he is making all these decisions by himself thinking u are okay with them. communication is very important. a concern now might be a big problem in the future if not resolved on time.
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (22 January 2007):
 No, no! You're not crazy! lol, it's natural to be a little confused when this happens. You're getting married, and I congratulate you. :) It must be a happy time for you! Just remember that your fiancee` is getting married, too...And he probably wants to spend these last few months as a 'free man (who invented this term? Probably a man.)' living it up. What better way to do so than a vacation with the boys. When he gets married, time with them may be inhibited by events involved in marriage, so he probably really wants to hang out while he still can. :) Discuss the trip with him! Enjoy life, -Carrie
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