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anonymous
writes: I've just broken up with my boyfriend of two years in the past few days, but I have a problem. The past few weeks I've spent alot of time with his friend whilst I was spending time with my boyfriend, and over time I've started to fall for his friend. I had such a good time with his friend and we get on really well, it doesn't help matters that when he's drunk he puts his hands on my knee or squeezes me or tickles me all the time, he makes me feel really special and to top it all off he's absolutely gorgeous! And I'm talking Tom Cruise stunning, it's crazy. It's tearing me up inside because I feel like a horrible person but as much as I try, I can't help gettin a flutter in my tummy whenever I think of him! I know it's probably just a crush or whatever but I'm even doing crazy things like going to places where his friend might be just so I might bump in to him. I feel awful and please don't think I'm a horrible person for doing this! I just don't know what to do!
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Well, it almost sounds like the crush on the friend may have contributed to the break up with the boyfriend. If that is the case I have got to give you points because you broke up with your man BEFORE anything happened, and that is almost unheard of in these types of questions. This is a difficult situation because it is a friend of your ex, and the friendship between the two of them will most likely be ruined if anything happens between the two of you. You also didn't mention if he has ever told you that he has feelings for you. I would say tread lightly on this one, before you do anything crazy like ask him out, try to feel out the situation with him. Try to find out if he has feelings for you, and also how close the friendship between him and your ex really is. If he seems interested and the friendship is not that great go for it. If you think the bond him and your ex shares is very tight you might face some resentment in the future as the loss of his friendship settles in. Don't beat yourself up about all of this too much, after all we can't always control who we have feelings for, but we can control how we act on them, use your head and really think about what a relationship with him will do to everyone involved. Good luck.
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