A
female
age
30-35,
*akili_luv
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for around 8 months now and I really like him, ALOT. But when he gets drunk he is soooo mean to me for no reason and when sober he is the nicest person I have ever met.. so I guess I am wondering what side of him is the real side, or the side that i should pay more attention to?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): He's an alcoholic, no matter how much or little he drinks.
The question is ALWAYS "What does the alcohol do to the person?"
Have him take this quiz and make sure he is honest.
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
He needs total abstinence from alcohol, for his lifetime.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Sounds like an alcoholic (or alcoholic in training). You should pay attention to his drinking pattern and if he's getting drunk on a regular basis, decide if you can live happily with an addict.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Booze brings about our inner inhibitions and def do not reflect the whole us, but def who we are. Alcohol in my opinion is poison but that aside, I sense here that your bf is indeed in the process of possibly jeopardizing the relationship. Therefore, his risk in drinking outweighs any benefit and he should completely stop for the beneift of himself and you as well.You dont want any risk of him becoming that person...so by completely removing alcohol i e not drinking just a little less...you almost guarantee the "hyde" will not come out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): I'd definitely say the sober side is his real personality. Alcohol effects people in so many different ways, it can indeed changes ones WHOLE personality (as it does me which is why I'm NOT a fan of drinking any more). I know people being drunk isn't always their whole personality as I've experienced myself.
I was always a real bitch to my boyfriend when I had a drink, and lovely when sober as that's my real personality. I couldn't explain why I was mean to him whilst drunk, I just guess the alcohol made me more aggressive, hot tempered, etc.. But I did not mean it.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 i have just read Mystiquek 's answer to questioner Coolbreez. Coolbreez is older than you but has endured the alcohol problem with her partner for much longer. And with more pain. I can really recomend the answer by Mystiquek on this issue of alcohol and jekyll and hyde.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Drunkenness is not as truthful as one would think. Maybe he should stop drinking, otherwise, I suggest you stay away from him when he does drink so that it does not harm your relationship because, if it goes on like this, he may end up saying something that will destroy everything.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (28 November 2010):
Drunkenness is not as truthful as one would think. Maybe he should stop drinking, otherwise, I suggest you stay away from him when he does drink so that it does not harm your relationship because, if it goes on like this, he may end up saying something that will destroy everything.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 November 2010):
pay attention to the fact that he can't handle liquor.
And that leads to so much more that will ruin his life. (later find he can't hold down jobs, embarassment and humiliation for you when he's rude in public, drink driving charges, friends stop visiting, property damage when drunk, mental cruelty to you when he's drunk= to name a few)
It matters not how nice he is when sober.
Potentially you have an alcoholic on your hands.
He has also demonstrated that he's an abusive drunk.
If you leave him now you will avoid a lot of pain later.
Stay only if he will join Alcoholics Anonymous.
Though if it were me i would still leave now.
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A
male
reader, benc57 +, writes (28 November 2010):
Find a way to get him to drink less and you don’t have a problem. If he loves you more than alcohol he will do it. I’m not saying have him quit drinking just saying drink 4 beers instead of 8. Or when he wants to get drunk to stay away from you and go in a hotel or something. if he is as nice as you say then getting him to drink alittle less wont be a problem
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