A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have liked this guy named Jason*(who is also my older brother's best friend) for about 6 months now...once I met him I instantly felt this really strong feeling...like I'd known him forever and that in a sense...I felt some belonging. His situation is kind of complicated though... he has a kid with this girl who he still talks to alot. My brother said that it is complicated but he thought that Jason likes me too. Jason and I flirt and he gives me the greatest hugs...like he never wants to let go. But he lives kinda far and I wouldnt be able to see him alot. Well....here is the real problem. About a month ago, this guy friend of mine John*(who i sort of liked) asked me out. It had been a while at that point since I had seen Jason, so i didnt know what was going on with that. So kind of without thinking...I said yes to John (my current boyfriend). The hard part is...only a few hours after I had agreed to be John's girlfriend, Jason texted me saying that he was with my brother and wanted to hang out and that he missed me and it wasn't fun without me there. He said he wanted to have a raincheck to hang out and I agreed. But I just didnt have the heart to tell him that ...in a sense...he was too late. A month has gone by and I have seen Jason a couple times....and everytime....I get the same feeling I had with him before. But now...he affirmed that he liked me too. He now knows that I am dating John....and gets alittle jeleous. I know that he is hurt...Here is my question....I like John...he's funny and we have a good time together....he makes me happy. But on the other hand....he isnt as affectionate as I am in the least. (Jason is...). Soemtimes I feel like I would be happier with Jason...but I don't want to hurt John...I like him too. Should I stay with John and just be friends with Jason. Or should I leave John and loose him all together and be with Jason? I don't know what to do...its so hard...I feel like I'm being torn in half between the two of them.Please help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): Ask yourself who you like better between the two. I agree with the previous comment, a guy with kid will never give you 100% attention unless you can deal with his family circumstances. I would go with someone without kid, it's much easier for you both, you can spend as much time together as much as possible without thinking of his kid like the other guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): Which one do you like better?
Don't forget that being in a relationship means people often take advantage of the situation - affection and the little things often get forgotten about. Outsiders often seem more exciting, and flirting can lead you to believe the whole realtionship will be edgy and exciting.
Weigh up the pros and cons. If you can inject some passion into your relationship will it be a great relationship overall? Don't use this as an excuse to leave your boyfriend for someone new. You don't sound too enthused about him, but if you like him enough to be with him, you should be willing to work at your relationship.
Consider the other guy - don't forget, with him having a child, you will never be his top priority. You must be sure you'll be able to handle any jealous feelings when he's talking to his babymamma, and being with them both at birthdays etc. A guy with a family can never give you 100%.
It's a matter of rationally weighing things up and deciding whether a man with a family could give you the realtionship you want, or if your boyfriend can give you what you want if you talk to him about how you feel.
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