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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: This is a petty question I'm sure but it's something that holds me back I will try to keep it short. I've had depression off and on since 15 but hit a hard spell at 21 after a relationship knocked me back because of it my life has been frozen. Just kept a standard job, still live with parents but I help my family alot. And I haven't had a sexual partner for 10 years (all through my prime) I've become aware depression makes your thoughts negative rather than negative is the natual way of thinking so I'm trying my best to get it sorted Any way I still haven't had a sexual partner and the fact I've wasted my prime time kills me. Will that ever go? Has anybody got past in life? I also know if I don't do something I will regret wasting my 30s too. Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Pepi let pew  +, writes (31 May 2019):
 No one can tell you what you should or shouldnt be doing. The Reason is you suffer from deppression. And it sounds like your trying to get on top of it. The mind is a very powerful thing. But it can lie and make you think you should be doing things you not ready for. Life is not a race. Its also not about how many sexual partners you have had. I wasted my prime allowing sex to rule my life. Its not cool i lost partners and hurt people. So yes i have wasted my prime when i could have been with someone really cool and enjoyed my life with out all the insecurity arguments and pain. Iv had to learn the hard way. I dont think you have wasted your prime and i hope you can get over your deppression.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2019): Hi anon. I am like the female version of you. I was in a relationship in my early 20s then it fizzled out and as well as the rest of my 20s being single, I spent most of my 30s single too, purely because I had no drive to find a replacement partner.
However, although I also feel I missed out on my prime - I still felt and looked young enough to date in my late 30s/40s - so you're never too old.
Don't think sex & having a partner is the ultimate goal in life. I am still currently single and find I am more at peace with my life than some of my friends who have had half a dozen relationships and still aren't happy. Also think of all those broken marriages & unwanted children that occur from people too eager to rush into a sexual relationship out of desperation.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2019): Wiseowle is right that it can help some people to sit in on a service and give it a try, but I won’t “God is way above all of that” because the belief in *a* Higher Being does more for people than God Him/Herself does, and this is coming from a believer. God doesn’t cure people. Science cures people and, depending on what you believe, God may or may not have put that desire in people to become scientists and medical professionals. They are there to help you. Belief can be pure, but every religion is flawed because it’s man-made. That’s why it’s worth a shot, but shouldn’t be used instead of medical professionals - the same way that pills shouldn’t either.See a therapist. You can say no to “popping pills”, though it may help with chemical imbalances if you also continue therapy alongside it. “Sitting on a couch, popping pills” is just an ignorant way of putting it and people shouldn’t be dissuaded from medical help. You don’t have to keep going over what you’ve missed with the therapist; you can go over it once and they can help you get over it and move forward.You’re missing your sexual prime, but that’s pointless because nothing comes of a sexual prime. A therapist could help you turn it around and find something positive to do with the next 10+ years of your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2019): Good news! It's the depression lying to you. People suffering depression often develop a lack of ambition, succumb to pessimism, and they feel as though life is passing them by.
I'm offering you some unorthodox advice beyond just sitting on a couch, popping pills, and lamenting over time you've lost that you won't get back. My good fellow, you've got 50 years or better ahead of you!
Stop by a local house of worship and just sit through service.
Be open-minded, and let science take a day off. Discover something that feeds the soul; not just go seeking somewhere to park your penis. You won't be any happier because you've found yourself a sex-partner. Maybe you want and need more than that. Maybe you're a non-believer, and/or you've been exposed to faith and worship; but you just dismissed it as hokey, restrictive, and you don't like church-people or religious-folk. God is way above all that.
You can totally overlook this post and write it off as nothing. I'll just plant the seed, and say a little prayer; and maybe you'll discover something fulfilling! As well as find yourself a wonderful mate; who will share faith, love, and more.
Science hasn't helped. Try something spiritual.
Sex isn't going to cure your depression anyway! Open-up to something that will scare-away all the demons of depression, cynicism, and pessimism. Let some light into your darkness.
Just a suggestion. What have you got to lose? It's working for me. What can I tell you?
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 May 2019):
 Then do something then, stop moping around. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t achieve anything! Apply for new jobs, hit the gym, get a new hairstyle and wardrobe, re-invent yourself. Pity parties won’t help anyone and certainly won’t attract any females if you’re on a downer!
You’re as old as you feel, go out and embrace life whilst you’ve still got chance. Always remember that someone out there is worse off than you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2019): Move into a house share with some other friendly single people who like to socialise and join some clubs. Maybe change your job. Those are great ways to meet more people. Get out there and experience life! Don't let your 30s go the same way!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 May 2019):
 Living with constant regret over something you DIDN'T do is like taking poison is tiny doses and being upset that you feel ill.
LET go of the regret, and MAKE plans for making POSITIVE changes to your life NOW, not wait around for life to HAPPEN to you. YOU are the captain of YOUR life.
What interest you? What hobbies? How about social life?
If you don't have any friend and don't go out much HOW ARE you supposed to meet people? Meet a woman?
That is where hobbies or interest come in. JOIN some groups, socialize and MEET new people.
LIFE is NOT going to show up and knock on your door. Neither is a potential date or partner. You HAVE to be proactively LOOKING for that. Or at the VERY least be visible and social.
You "prime" is when YOU decide to LIVE life. Not what you think it should have been. OK you just muddled through your 20's - you know that makes you wish you had more gumption, so instead of wishing - MAKE IT SO.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2019): Your prime is when you decide it is. Now is your prime. Go out there and live your life.
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