A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex still owes me 2500 pounds from december. We split at the begining of the year. He owed me a lot more but has paid some back a few months ago. Pressumably when he thought i might take him back. Anyway, he says i will get it as soon as he has sold his house. Ive been patient for 6 months, and gave up smoking, dont go out, and budget on food now, so i can afford to buy my daughters new school uniform next week when its her shcools turn to buy them. Ive tried real hard to budget and am proud i gave up the smokes, but i am soooo annoyed this week. My ex was offered a free holiday to Mexico by his cousin (apparently his cousin thinks he needs it!) and all he needs is spending money. We were on talking terms txt wise since we split in jan, and he didn't bother mentioning he'd gone on holiday until he was actually there. Now, i can actually stomach the fact that he had my last bit of savings (my nan died and left me it) and was going to pay me back at some point, my fault i guess for lending it to him, and if he really was skint, i cant get blood out a stone, but i'm spitting chips he's taken off on holiday. Spending money for 2 weeks and loss of wages, gotta be looking at atleast a grand??? He also owes other people money. Ive told him we will no longer be mates now, i think its cruel, and a p take too far, my kids need a holiday too but we cant afford it! and any txt he sends now, will be deleted unread. And ive done exactly that since.He works cash in hand and claims incap benefit, and come november, he's been on it long enough to have the social pay his mortgage. Thats when he will take his house off the market i expect. Ive txt him today telling him he has til august to pay me back, with interest for the last 6 months, or i shop him to the social. Because theres no chance im watching him come out smelling of roses and my money be worth nothing by the time he sells up and gets round to paying me in years. Ive also written to his parents in spain and told them the hell time he put us through for 2 yrs. Because he obviously hasnt told his family much at all, i only ever met most of them once. How can anyone think he deserves a holiday when he owes me money? I bet they dont even know. which inidently was supposed to be a 2 week loan in december til his remortgage paid out, but it got refused.Do you think ive done the right thing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Yep! Your angry and from your update (thank you for that) you have every right to be. Shopping him to the government will not get your money back, but will make things more difficult for him.
If you've already been to the small claims court, I don't know what else to suggest. You could try the ballifs as a next step (around £40 plus expenses) but there is no guarantee that they will get the money from him. My mother is currently in a similar position, she lent somebody money, and three years later she is still waiting.
Sorry, I couldn't provide more help. Contact the Citizens Advice Bureau to see if there is anything more that you can do. I know your angry, but this dosen't make me happy, it causes me to worry about your mental health. Anger only destroys the person who feels it, not the person who causes it. I know you and the kids need the money, but is there anyway you can forget about it, chalk it down to experience and move on. He'll have to pay one day (when the house is sold) but don't you deserve more than worrying about this thief and his actions, and worrying about vengence and trying to destroy their life? What positive actions could you be doing instead if you turned your attention to them. Use your anger to do positive things and you may find you don't even need this stupid money.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe small claims courts already ruled in my favour. He works cash in hand but claims disability benefits, so in the eyes of the law, i wouldn't get a penny more than a fiver a week out of him, if that, til he didnt bother paying after a month or so. Soooooooooo because i had a judgement from the court, i have been able to put a charge order on his property. So when he sells i get my money bak. Sounds good doesnt it, except for the fact that when he eventually sells, that 2 and a half grand will be worth about a fiver of todays money. So in november he's going to get his mortgage paid, and get his cash in hand from building jobs. And i should walk away and forget it? Or stay friends with him? Not too sure which one you mean.
I dont want to be friends with him, i finished with him in january, i am the one that doesn't want to even be friends anymore. I just want my money bak and have nothing more to do with him. Yes i am bitter. Why should he have a holiday? He's suppose to be too poor to pay me back. He has my money, my kids cant have a holiday. I can only just afford school uniforms for them next week. Let alone holidays.
But thanks for your opinion. I know, its hard to explain a complete situation on here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): There are two courses of action to take in your situation, one is about justice, the other about vengence.
Your wanting back your money is only part of the story. You don't give the impression that he won't pay you back, you don't say he's not agreed to the interests, it's not as if he dosen't have money coming.
No, your angry because he hurt you and borrowed money from you. Until your paid back you don't think he deserves any happiness in life. He got a free holiday, but you would rather it go to waste than him spend any time having happiness. Telling the government about the benefit fraud, won't help you get your money any sooner. No! This is just another action to hurt him, and keep him connected to you, if not through love, then through hate.
Spoil the last of this relationship if you want to. I think it's a pity, and you yourself will end up the worse for these negative actions you now take. (karma)
If you want the money, then take out a small claim against him (valid between £25 - £5,000) The costs is around £60. The courts will help ensure that you get back your money.
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