A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have had a long term 6 years distance relationship with someoneI love very deeply. I had plans in place for her to move to the UK and we would live together. She now tells me she has met someone else, is pregnant and loves me but is still in a relationship with this other person. She didn't mention this other person until 1 month ago but when asked said she had been seeing him for 6 months then something jushappened to make it serious. I was going to see her and she told me she didn't want me to do this.I didnt know anything about this relationship and saw her 6 months ago and 3 months ago , stayed with her and had out normal relationship. I am married and had sorted all the family things out and finances so that my GF would be comfortable coming to the UK until I heard this news. This is not all the story and I know I am to blame for not acting sooner but I have had complete committment over the past 6 years and have not had relations with my wife for 8-10 years and basically stayed for the kids who have now just both left home. The time was right for my GF and I to get together.I am completely distraught at this entire scenario. I deeply love my GF and would have done anything for her but she said she was too alone and in a bad way and she had to do something!. MY GF was also bombarded with her friends saying she should leave me as we would never be togehter but this was just not ture. My GF was jelous of my family but I had no relationship with my wife but I guess she could not see that even although I repeated this contantly. For years we spoke very day, I sent sms's every day and night as she asked and we were on skype constantly. This new relationship started about 6-8 months ago and I was with my girlfriend at that time and visited her 4 months ago and stayed with her but did not know anything about this new person. She is now saying that she is not sure about this new realtionship and not sure if it will work out.This is not every thing in the story but about 99% and I just wanted some good sensible views on what others might see as the best way ahead. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): I have been in your now ex girlfriend / mistresses shoes. I waited patiently for years for the man I loved to leave his wife and children. He never did. It was the worst pain years wasted and I was a fool. I gave up my last fertile years. You put your needs before hers? That is not love. What gives you the right to feel angry she has a child of her own on the way. Has a relationship. She deserves happiness surely. Move on with your life and if you love her at all you will let her do the same.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): Dude... you have a wife and kids. And she has a partner and soon a child as well.Treat the people in your life with more respect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): Sorry, you are married BUT have a GF? And this has been going on for YEARS?Seriously,can you hear yourself? You are only considering yourself in this, the children have long cottoned on and have NOT benefited from you "staying" as you spent ALL YOUR energy and TIME maintaining contact with your mistress rather than SPEND that time with your children (and your wife!! Unless she knew about the affair all along and was ok with it, you have no idea how much PAIN you've caused to another human being! Consciously!!)ABOUT the mistress-sorry,mate, that's the nature of cheating: she can never fully trust you (and has voiced this in the past) and you can never fully trust her (as she has shown a considerable lack of boundaries by getting involved with you and her friends have actually been giving her good advice if it was "Stay away from a married man!")When there is lack of trust there can't be a good relationship. It's not all about sex in a relationship,so you not being intimate with your wife may not have worried her too much (as you age). So you have no trust+ you know your mistress has had sex with someone else. (which was to be expected...talk about instant karma)So no trust=no relationship.That simple.End the misery of your wife, let her free and comfortable and go and explore (honestly!!! no lies and affairs!) your new life.
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