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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a LDR, me in Scotland whilst he is in the South and a while back I was having doubts about my boyfriend and about how I felt for him, I didn't think I felt the same. Also I was feeling rather unsettled in myself too and that probably contributed towards me not knowing what I wanted. However, I wanted to be honest and explained this to him and he took it well. I was prepared to try and get over him and perhaps eventually be friends. We got quite friendly again soon after unintentionally (he started it) and it was nice to hear from him. I found myself missing him and even though I was glad I had been honest about things, had a little twinge of regret that I didn't give us more time and him more of a chance as we were only together a short while. I would like to meet up with him again but I think he is being quite cautious, however he is keen to meet up with no pressure and have a good time. He thinks that he is single and its true he is, as we are not a couple as such at the moment and I was the one that wanted to take a step back. We plan to take things slower this time around and see where things go. However, I can't help but feel anxious and a little insecure about things and I have no right to be as I was the one that was having doubts! I really do want it to work and I guess because of the distance, it is hard to know what the other is truly feeling. And I won't know until I meet up with him. I have said some nice things to him and perhaps giving him hope, but I feel I have meant them but I think he is a little sceptical - rightly so! I do think far too much sometimes - and am wondering if it would be good to see him again and take it from there? Also, in the mean time - perhaps not come across too overly keen but just friendly enough to keep him interested. I am afraid that he may be losing interest and doesn't believe me in the things I say. If I do meet with him I do want to make the effort - and hope that we can be together again - but it has to come from him really - he may not want me back and I am afraid he may want to use me for a bit of fun on the side OR - maybe he feels that I may be using him - but believe me I am not and would never do that to him. How can I show him I mean business this time, and prepare myself to see him again?!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Your insecurities com from the fact that you are in a LDR. It's difficult to maintain a relationship at the best of times but I believe it's more difficult when miles are in the way. The only thing you can do is to be honest with him, lay your cards on the table and spill it all out. After all the time you have together is precious and you don't need to waste a m inute of it. Good luck!
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