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female
,
anonymous
writes: I had a relationship with S for 4 months, and he had a mate, M, that i really liked as we really hit it off. But My relationship with S ended 4 weeks ago, and today M was hitting on me. I have some serious hang ups at the mo, part of the reason me and S broke up was because I was having to sort some stuff out in my head, and i still have that. I've spent the day with M, trying not to lead him on, but I've never turned down a guy in my life, and have no idea how to. Especially someone like M, who is a 20 year old virgin who hasn't kissed a girl in 4 years and is ridiculously upfront about everything. I was attracted to him before, infact i was attracted to him today until he started attempting to flirt (he doesn't really have a clue, and he admits that). I still flirted back, purely because I have no idea how to reject him as he's a nice guy. I even kissed him goodbye. I've told him I think I need to be single for a while, but I don't think he's got the full message as he seems pretty excited. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2006): I can attest that guys HATE mixed messages. I think you inadvertently gave him one by kissing him goodnight!
You can't say "I need to be single for a while" then kiss him goodnight. He's totally digging you, now.
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 I know it may be difficult but steer clear... this can only lead to problems... best way to not have to deal is don't hang out with him any more. Make excuses, avoid...do whatever you can. Not only will it hurt him, men have a tendency to be real big a**holes when they are hurt so your reputation may be on the line if you hook up with this guy as well.
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 Hi dearie,
I think u are very sweet to consider his feelings. But i guess u have to make it clear to him that you arent ready for a relationship right now becos u have alot to deal with and things u need to sort out emotional. You have to make this clear to him if u really do like him so dont u dont hurt him in the long run.
Take care now
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