A
female
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anonymous
writes:dear evyone i have a problem, this may seem stupid but i have kinda ben going out wiv this lad i mt online in a chat room we have never met though so im nt sure if it wud b cheating if i went out wiv this lad thts in my class at schhol? plz help i dnt no wat to do they both say they love me which one do i pick??? plz help xxxxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): i know wat u mean. im going out my frienD's brother and i havent seen him before. wat should i dew to meet him. And i dont think he is real
A
female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (18 September 2006):
 You cant have a relationship over line if you have never met the person before, and do u think your going to meet him any time soon. I say your young go for the one in your school. Dont take thins the wrong way but ever thought that your "online boyfriend" has got a girl. No point in wasting your time in "fantasy". Technically it is cheating but you never met and have you ever considered it. Just explain to him that you dont think its going to work you two should be able to see each other people and not be tied down by an online relationship. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2006): No, you're not "going out" with this online friend. Going out means meeting and going someplace together (coffee, lunch, movie, etc.) whereas you have not met him in person.
Do you want to meet him?
You have no obligation to your online friend whatsoever. You are perfectly free to see the boy at school. OR you can choose to not see either of them, if that's your decision.
Let me explain: you meet a guy; you go on the first date, and maybe go on several more dates if you hit it off the first time. Are you with me so far?
So long as you are JUST dating, and no sex is involved, both of you are free to go out with other guys/girls.
IF AND WHEN you do sleep together, the general expectation is that neither of you will date, or have sex with, anybody else.
The reason is that things get very complicated when sex comes into the picture: there's the feeling that he/she has cheated on you, and you get jealous and upset, angry, anxious. When you meet someone its better to take your time to get to know him before jumping into bed.
As I said, until that happens, you are both free to date others.
Now: if you are both getting on so well, and seem to be compatible, you - or he - might decide you don't want to go out with anybody else; you just want to date each other. IN THAT CASE, YOU NEED TO LET HIM KNOW WHAT YOU WANT and to REQUEST him not to see other girls.
He may or may not, agree. But that's another matter.
I know this is perhaps way more information than you requested, but keep it for future reference, especially once you've left school and are "out in the world of work."
Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (17 September 2006):
 Well, with all due respect, if you have never met you are not properly going out. Does he think you are an item?? Does he know you are interested in this other boy?? If you havent then although you may not be cheating you are leading him on by diliberately keeping that from him.
Is the online one a long distance away?? You have to bear in mind that you cant know somebody properly from talking online where as at least with the guy in class you can get to know him by spending time with him. Hope that helps. Take care.
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A
female
reader, gracie lou +, writes (17 September 2006):
 since you're "going out" with this guy you chat with, accepting a date from the other guy in your class would be considered cheating. about the "picking" between the two, you need to consider a bunch of things... how well do you know either of them? maybe you need to get to know both of them better. since you've never met the chatroom guy, maybe you guys should meet some time if possible. if not, i doubt he really does in fact "love" you. just consider the things you value in a boyfriend and you're bound to see which of them is better for you. do you want humour/looks/smarts/etc one of them will fit the description of your ideal bf better than the other. good luck
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