A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have never had an orgasm, I am sure of that. But from what I've read, I've been close many times. I always either stop myself (if masturbating) or my partner when I start feeling like I need to urinate because the feeling is too intense- it's not 'pain' per say, but it's an uncomfortably intense feeling, no matter what. I try so hard not to think about it and just 'enjoy' the feeling as many people have advised me to do, but it's hard to enjoy it when there's really nothing pleasant about it. Will I ever have an orgasm? How do I ever get comfortable enough to do so? I think I'm really just afraid of what will happen- will I pee? There are just so many unknowns.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Do it in the shower alone for the first few times, that way you don't have to worry about peeing if you happen to pee. And without having orgasmed on your own you wont know what to "look for" (or feel for) when you are with your boyfriend, and what sorts of sensations you should try to achieve in order to get there.
So do it on your own, in the shower, pee if you think you must and see what happens. Experiment with it. Whatever you do on your own stays private and only you will know.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 pee first then either do it in the shower or put a towel down on the bed... you won't pee...
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A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 strangely enough as a bloke i had the same issue at first. Next time you masturbate no matter How strange it feels rush yourself and keep going. Once you have had an orgasm you will know what to expect and never look back :-)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Go to the toilet first, then try it out first in the bath tub to show yourself that you won't pee. Or put down some towels. Unless he's pressing on your G-spot, there's no way fluid is coming out. And even if he was and it did, it wouldn't be urine. You can't pee when you have an orgasm.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 February 2012):
 If you are truly terrified of peeing when getting an orgasm, go have your first one in the bathroom. I bet you though, you won't pee.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Good answers, folks, but also OP, look up a similar question/answer from earlier "Why does my girlfriend get the feeling of peeing during sex?"
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Sorry, that last like should be "You'll wonder why you've waited so long to feel so good!".
It's late and I should be in bed!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 February 2012):
You're not going to pee. In fact, the mechanics of an orgasm actually closes off the urethra to ensure that urination doesn't occur, unless you're unhealthy.
Your clitoris and vaginal wall engorge with blood the same as a male penis is. A clitoris is an erectile organ, and what you're feeling is the building pressure of that engorgement process. The nerves are building with energy that eventually releases in a wash of intense and incredible feeling. If your bladder is full, you can feel that pressure close to that area.
Think of it this way -- are you afraid to sneeze??? The function is very similar. Stimuli causes a build up and then a discharge. The brain systems that control a sneeze also control an orgasm (as well as coughing, puking when you're sick, and even the digestive system's ability to cause food to travel).
The reason you consider it uncomfortable is, quite frankly, in your mind. Your fear of letting go and the unknown. Fear of loss of control, whether of your bladder or your bodily systems. My suggestion is that you work on this on your own without a partner first. Make sure you're alone, go to the bathroom first, and then take your time. When you feel that feeling, go straight toward it and don't shy away. for anything. Trust me, when you finally do have an orgasm, you'll be insatiable and wonder what you're missing!
Now sneeze!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 February 2012):
 It is a normal sensation for many women, but the feeling to urinate is false. Just go to the rest room prior to sexual activity. Then you can relax and let an orgasm happen. Masturbate in a bathtub if you are so worried about it. Just ignore that sensation, because it only means that you are about to climax. And if you were to pee, then so what? But you won't.
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