A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I need advice! Sorry if this turns out as a long mess but I’m confused. I’ve got an infatuation with a boy in college with me. I don’t know what I’m thinking let alone him, so any help and I’ll be happy.I’ve never fancied anyone before. It’s a big deal for me to be interested in anyone. I’ve always believed that I’ll only ever be with one person and I’ll know straight away when I meet him. I have difficulty trusting people and opening up so if that person isn’t the One, then why bother?I’ve got to know this guy over msn. He’s friends with my best friends. I really like him as he cheers me up and makes me happy. He’s not shallow or immature and I’ve become almost obsessed with him. It’s all I think about. I dream about him and get so jealous. This has been going on for at least a year now and I can’t stop it. I’ve been wondering if it’s a possibility that he likes me too. He starts a conversation with me within minutes every time we’re online. He remembers little details about me. He says he wants to buy me gifts. He teases me but then is really nice. We talk about anything and everything every day. He asks me if I’m going to various parties. He texts me often if we don’t talk on msn including when he’s out with his mates. Sometimes it feels like we’re a couple. But there are problems. We’re both so shy that we don’t know how to behave around each other. We end up ignoring each other and not saying anything unless we have to. We only talk when we’re out drinking. Then we mess about with each other and do stuff to attract the other’s attention.My friends know that we talk a lot on msn and text. They knew I fancied him. Since then I’ve been less obvious but all the sudden last week they started teasing me that I loved him. He was in the room and my friends were being really loud about it. I don’t get where it came from because I haven’t talked about him or anything. It makes me wonder what sparked it. It came totally out of the blue.The other problem is that he’s apparently in love with my best friend. She’s totally loved up with someone else but he isn’t jealous. He doesn’t seem to have a problem with it at all but everyone says he really fancies her. I know I should tell him but he probably already knows. I don’t actually know what I’m asking. What do you think? What should I do? Am I being stupid? I feel stupid. Thank you.
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best friend, immature, jealous, msn, shy, spark, teasing, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 A case of unrequited love. You could wait forever under the apple tree for that particular apple to fall down to your feet. You would need lots of patience .
You could stretch your neck waiting for this forlorn love .When that man only have eyes for another girl, all your initiatives will come to naught or unappreciated.
It is not the right time to fish when the fish is too busy chasing another fish and he won't be interested in your bait.
Be smart and wait for the right timing.
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 I guess it's about what you think is right at the time, and what you're willing to live with. If you are concerned that this guy is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it means you have failed. And you don't want to be a failure. Do you?
So think the whole thing through carefully before you do anything. You don't want to be rejected, or you could be left shattered.
Ask a friend to ask him what he thinks of you. Do it that way. If it turns out that he loves you, ask him out. If it turns out that he only likes you, do not take it any further. You have to do this in a mature and methodical way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): You're in love..
However i do believe that guy should take the first step. Probably like chat a lot more or hinting him a little more.
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