A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone! I'm in need of some advice, thanks for your help in advance!I've been messaging with a girl for a few months now. I've actually never been with a girl before, but for some reason she and I seemed to connect from the very first second, and I decided to act upon it and send her a message. Ever since then, we talk regularly and have gotten quite personal about things, but it didn't really seem to move past the messaging, though. However, two weeks ago we saw each other at an event and ended up spending the entire evening talking together and I actually had a great time, I think she did too. She touched me casually a few times, made a point out of keeping eye contact, when we took a group picture she stood beside me and held me by the shoulder - it all seemed to make sense. Right before we left (together), a friend of mine actually asked me what was going on between the two of us. We travelled back together up until the point that we had to split ways, I didn't really know what to do so we just said bye and left. After that, we messaged again and she told me that she really enjoys talking to me, but after my reply she didn't respond anymore. I sent her another, pretty casual, message a few days later but again she didn't respond.I'm a little confused because she told me she likes to talk to me and we had such a good time at the event, but now she doesn't respond anymore. My reply to her message about how she likes to talk to me was simply stating that I like to talk to her too, so I don't assume I said something wrong there. I guess my question is, what should I do now? Since she told me literally that she liked to talk to me, should I message her again, even though she didn't reply twice? Or should I wait until she messages me? Since I've never been with a girl before I am a little uncertain how to continue, whether or not I should ask her out etc - or what the problem could be.I hope to hear some thoughts and insights on this. If more info is needed, please let me know! Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 so you sent a text and got no response?
you said you wanted to "ask her out in my second message
DO NOT USE TEXT MESSAGING for important things like asking for a date!
I would make ONE phone call... if she does not answer, leave a voice mail with your name and phone number (assume her phone is turned off and she does not have your number)
and ask her to call you back..... (and yes you can say you want to get together)
IF you do not hear back from her within three days, then give up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): (I'm the asker, I promise;))
I kinda wanted to ask her out in my second message, but since she never replied, I didn't dare to take such a big step. She still hasn't responded and I really have no clue what happened in the week between her telling me she likes to talk to me and her not responding anymore. I'm wondering if I should ask what happened? I hope someone still sees this...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 February 2013):
I'm thinking if you like her and she likes you that she's ready to take it to the next step beyond just messaging...
text messaging is not a way to have a relationship....
how about you pick up the phone and call her and ask her out for coffee.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (12 February 2013):
Give her space and act like you are completely ambivalent. If she likes you, and you pull back, she will come after you. Not a guess.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 February 2013):
 typically if people are interested, they'll make an effort to contact you back. it's hard to imagine she wouldn't text you if she wanted to pursue you.
it couldn't hurt to send her another text. worst case, she doesn't respond and you have your final answer. maybe she's got a girlfriend or something that you didn't know about. anyway, good luck.
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