A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am a cute (ish) woman of 29, and I have an awesome boyfriend loving and sexy and caring etc etc. I'm not unattractive, I promise. I'd give myself a solid 7.5 out of 10. Not overweight or acne scarred, and described by friends as petite with Angelina Jolie lips. However, I feel weird to say that in all my life I have never been cat-called, not EVEN by construction workers. Not even wearing a cute or sexy outfit. I hear so many women complain about receiving unwanted attention (think Donald Trump) and theoretically I don't want it either but I'd like to think it was POSSIBLE. Men either look right through me or just treat me like any ol' person. Should I feel bad that I have never had the opportunity to complain about this? In high school a stupid mean girl said to me, "I'm sorry you just don't have what it takes. Even the bad men would run away from you." Confused about my mixed emotions regarding this subject
View related questions:
acne, overweight, petite Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2016): Is the lack of cat calling what's really annoying you, or is it that your currently needing validation from someone that your attractive? I think perhaps you have put too much weight in what that mean girl said all those years ago, to be thinking about it after all this time seems as though it's still bugging you, let it go! Some women elicit respect from men. Which is far more empowering than objectivity!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): OP asked a totally legitimate question, WHY she does not get cat calling.
All other matters that was answered here do not answer her question, and its not a matter of her wanting attention or not, its a matter of her wondering why men dont cat call her.
It obviously matters to her to know.
Honestly when i read your question i wonder it myself why? I am in my 40s, and i never dress in tiny clothes, and though i am a pretty woman but there is nothing unusual about me, nothing striking. I am in good shape but again i dont have that perfect body that you see on TV.
Men cat calling me all the time. And though its not the best experience at all,and gets very annoying, but this fact exists. I also along with other posters think that it is disrespectful toward women, but since i get it from age 12 i kind of got used to it and dont react to it.
I guess i have no answer for you, but i would like to interview men about this for sure
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): Why would you want to be cat called? Seriously?
I get cat called a lot, I don't dress up, nor do I flaunt myself around and I LOATHE it. I actually got a car to avoid walking around but still get men beeping at me.
You are lucky because trust me it makes you feel embarrassed and dirty.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (15 October 2016):
 Trust me, sweetheart, the sort of men who usually catcall are NOT the type of men you would WANT catcalling you! They are usually uncouth sexist louts who just look at women as sex objects. You are probably too classy for these yobs. Despite your assurances that you are confident in your appearance, you are still, deep down, that young insecure school girl who is being bullied by some "stupid mean girl". For you to still be holding onto this idiotic comment (from someone who was probably trying to make herself feel better at your expense) tells me you are anything but secure and confident. You do not need some hooligan to catcall you to know you are attractive. These yobs tend to catcall women who are flaunting themselves (although not always - sometimes they target women who are obviously terrified and timid). My guess would be that you appear confident in your own skin and, hence they have nothing to pick on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 October 2016):
 Its great to hear that in some parts of the world things are changing and cat calling is not as prevalent as it used to be.
Catcalling is not a compliment, nor is complimenting women and girls the intention of the men who do it. When some guy sees a girl walking down the street and calls out something about her body he isn’t doing it to make her day better, he is doing it because somehow, in their tiny brains, they believe it will lead to sex. Of course the guys who do catcall wont admit that’s the reason they do it, they usually try to pretend that’s not the reason, and the reason they lie about that is because it sounds stupid, even to them, to say “I yelled at a girl from across the street because I thought she would stop whatever she was doing and have sex with me”.
Catcalling is disrespectful many girls and women have complained about it, and if it wasn’t disrespectful it would have stopped happening as soon as women complained it made them uncomfortable.
Most men don't shout at every girl they think is pretty. The guys who catcall are just hoping that the girl's self esteem is low enough that she'll just be happy that somebody has noticed her.
I am not saying those women and girls who enjoy getting catcalled are wrong. I am not saying they low self esteem, daddy issues, or of those other phrases people throw around. Some people are proud of the way they look enjoy the attention, which is fine. But they shouldn't trick themselves into thinking that the catcall means something that it doesn't. The catcall isn't meant to brighten your day. What's actually be said when somebody catcalls you is "I want to have sex with you, but I don't want to treat you with respect!"
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 Why does it matter at your age? So nobody has ever wolf whistled at you, so what? Nobody likes this kind off attention, well most don't anyway, I know for me it is extremely embarrassing and makes me feel very awkward. Plus you sound like looks are all that matter, your weight and weather you have acne scars or not. There is more to a person than that. Maybe you are good looking, but maybe you are not very approachable. Believe me nobody wants this kind off attention and if you have a boyfriend who you love am not sure why you would want this attention.
...............................
|
