A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm in a bit of a tight spot here. My friend met this guy at a party we went to a couple of days ago, and somehow he ended up at our place afterwards. Apparantly he didn't fancy my friend after all, and neither did she, so she went to bed, leaving the two of us on the couch. Drunk as I was, I started flirting with him and made a move, which he responded to. We made out for a while and just talked, then I fell asleep on his lap. A couple of hours later, when we woke up, I was beginning to sober up, but we still ended up making out on the couch again. We exchanged phone numbers amd he wanted to meet me later. He soon sent me a text, saying "thank you for yesterday, and hope to see you soon".Yesterday he sent me another text inviting me to see a movie at his place. I was planning to say no, but I ended up going anyway. He took my hand and held it throughout the movie, and after it we ended up making out on the couch again, for a long time. Then I went home, nothing more happended. He kept asking me to come over again soon, and telling me I was funny and sweet.This should not be a problem, except I discovered I don't have any romantic feelings for him after all. He is a really nice guy, that's why I decided to give him a chance and see how it went. I do want him as a friend though, but I don't want to hurt him, but I can't keep it up, when I'm not interested in that way. That wouldn't be fair. How do I tell him, preferably without losing all contact with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): Aunty Babbit is right-on.
I only suggest that you honestly tell him that you don't want to continue seeing him; if it means he's taking it to mean you want to be anything but friends. Tell him you may just want to limit visits, until he truly understands the meaning of you seeing him at all. Establish parameters.
You're a cool lady, and he's a lonely guy; who ran into you totally by accident. You're probably attractive; which only added more honey to the tea.
You have to be firm, or it will only lead him on. It's still at the crush stage; but the sex said you were physically attracted to him. For guys, that's too convenient.
Take Aunty Babbit's advice, it should get things back into perspective. You have to regain your control over the situation. He may only be thinking with his penis.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (26 August 2013):
 Tell him the truth, that he's a really nice guy but that you have no romantic feelings for him.
You are clearly a sweet and sensitive young lady but you must be true to your feelings and follow your heart.
Don't lead him on by seeing him again out of guilt.
If he wants to stay friends great but if not don't worry.
You've done nothing wrong.
We girls may have to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince xxxxx
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