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female
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anonymous
writes: i'm messing my relationship with this lad i like up and i don't know why i'm doing it. i started hanging round with him more and we went on a couple of dates. i really like him although i haven't decided if i want to go out with him properly. i went out with my friends one night and he was there, i drank way too much and i ended up kissing this other lad infront of him, i don't like this other boy any more than a friend so i spoke to him for a bit and then i walked away from him. my friends got angry with me for being such a bitch to him so i left the club early. i was waiting for them when i ran into this lad that i used to really fancy. we had kissed a couple of times one night but never anything more and i didn't think he liked me that much so we don't really speak much. he was being really nice and offered to walk me home, we started walking but we agreed to go to his house and have some drink so i went with him. we were sat in his living room as he shares a room with his brother and had some drinks and after his mum and sister went to bed we started kissing. we were both really really drunk and one thing led to another and stuff happened. we didn't have protection so we didn't have full sex but very close to, i really wanted to. he gave me his jacket and walked me home and i told him we didn't have to say anything about it, i didn't want things to get weird. i haven't spoke to him since that night. anyway i told a couple of close friends who both said they were waiting for something to happen between us. i doubt he sed anything but people found out i was there and assumed we had sex. now there are all sorts of rumours going round about it and i'm being called a slut-which i suppose i have been acting like one but its still upsetting. we are goin back to school soon and i'm dreading it because we will get so made fun of. the lad i have just started seeing thinks i had sex with someone else so isn't really talkin to me at all. he had forgiven me for kissing someone else butthis pushed him over the edge. now i don't know what to do, should i just forget about all of them, should i wait for this new lad to forgive me and see wot happens with him or should i speak to the lad i almost had sex with and see what he wants? he can be so horrible and none of my friends like him but theres something about him that i like? and wot should i say to people when they start asking about what happened? i mean if i don't say anything they will think we had sex and i don't kno wot he is sayin about it all.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (6 January 2006):
 Dearie, i feel things ended this way for you cause u havent really made up your mind who u want to be with or you are probably not ready to commit.
You seem young not sure of your age,but u should think about what u really want. what a relationship means to you?Which of the guys do u prefer? you seem to know each pretty well so make up ur mind which provide u with what u need in a relationship.You have to follow your heart on this one and make your choice.
Also, i really dont care what people say it isnt their business really whether u had sex or not. I feel that should be personal between you and this guy and whichever of them u decide to date. But if u feel the rumours is getting to you then u can tell ur close friends nothing happened. but u might be kidding yourself abit becos u said u would have had sex if u two had protection.
In future, would advise u to think about things abit more try not to rush into things based on impulse alone.
All the best dear, hope i have been able to help you abit.
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