A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I must say I’m a little embarrassed with this one, I’m 27 years old, been with my GF for roughly 3 years and have completely lost my sex drive. We went from having sex multiple times a day to once a week/fortnight. I just feel like no need or urgency to have it anymore. I used to be quite promiscuous in my earlier days I’ll admit and the thought of sleeping with many women excited me. But now knowing you can have it regularly feels like the novelty has kind of worn off.Now I love my GF, I know I want to marry her one day, she’s absolutely gorgeous, such a caring person and I want that feeling back where I just want to tear her clothes off whenever I see her. What can I do to get my sex drive back? I really need help here as I know it’s starting to bother her, she makes subtle little hints but I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing myself to have sex and start resenting it.
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2019): "I want that feeling back where I just want to tear her clothes off whenever I see her."
That feeling fades in every long term relationship. Otherwise you wouldn't get anything done. If you dwell on this feeling and end up chasing after it because you think that's what true love is like you'll realise a few more ltr's from now that it's normal for things to ebb and flow and you'll have lost this great girl and probably a few others too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2019): Maybe mix it up a little. My wife and I play games. maybe some of of these are not for you two.
I play repairman. She says her husband is at work. We get lucky.
We make believe we are other people. Use their names during sex. We even did Bob and Linda, our best friends.
We do it outdoors, just off a hiking trail with a spectacular view. Once an airplane kept circling us.
Skinning dipping with friends.
She plays a prostitute. A couple times she dressed up like one, I got a room. She asks the desk clerk for my room number.
We make oral sex bets. Sometime the bet has her giving a buddy a bj (she always reneges, and I never get to pay off on her hot girlfriend)
Have sex in our SUV off a dirt road (requires 2 yoga mats)
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (6 May 2019):
 Speak to a doctor to have a health check. Then try to up the romance and semi-spontaneity in your relationship, but communicate it well with your girlfriend first, so you don’t end up with clashing plans :)
Once a week is still a healthy frequency once you’re settled into a relationship and routine of adult responsibilities. If there’s pressure, it’ll reduce your libido. Same with stress, boredom, tiredness, etc. You can still be passionate without sex, like kisses and massages, as long as you don’t lead her on with them.
...............................
A
female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (6 May 2019):
 Once a week is still very healthy, if it was once a month I would be worried. I think the fact shes pressuring you may be turn off. Its subtle.
My suggestion may be unfavorable but I think this is situation where you both may see each other too often and its turned into more "friendship" than romantic. So plan exciting dates, spend time apart to wonder about your partner, suggest her to have time away from you so you can start desiring her on your own again, etc. This just truly a case of allowing romance to come back into a relationship that may have turned too friendly. Copendency can kill sexual desire so my advice is try focus 100% on your own personal growth so that you can come back together again stronger, more aligned and fully desiring one another.
Hope this helps. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2019): While you take her for granted and didn't realize what you had, another man will. And he will want to tear her clothes off the way you used to. He will desire her in every which way. He won't grow bored of her. He will be mature enough to know that love changes and grows. It becomes much more than just sex.
...............................
|
