A
female
age
41-50,
*egane
writes:I am 26 and have just married the love of my life in May. It has not been a happy marraige. I've lost all trust in him. Just before we got married, I took a loan to buy a car, a month later I find out, that he took the money from my account. I was trusting him with finding my car as he had ore flexible working hours. With the recession, he was not working as much as he was letting on and was taking savings from our joint account. He says he didn't want to let me down with the wedding and all. I decided to forgive and try move forward - once there was no more lying.Then a few months later, I find out rent wasn't being paid, even though I was giving him half the rent money to lodge. He kept getting further and further behind and it turned into another nasty situation. I thought we were getting through this. I admit I am not the easist person to open up to sometimes. I have a terrible temper sometimes and find it hard to let go. But after all that had happened I needed the trust to build by one little step at a time. Then today, I find out he's been lying again. Said he got tax back and lodged it into my account, I thought great, a few extra thousand before christmas. He showed me lodgement slip, cos since all that has happened I always insisted on that. He never even got the tax back. I can't understand for the life of me why he would lie about getting and then saying he put non-existant money in my account. I just don't know what to do. I love him and have done for over 10 years(haven't been with him all this time - but loved him even when I had other boyfriends) and I don't want to throw away a marraige, but how can I ever trsut him again. Our sex life is non-existant, whenever it gets back on track, I find out more lies and I can't.What do I do?
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (12 December 2009):
 I think you possess quite a religious nature, who expect and desires less, and live for other with sacrificial attitude. You should learn that, love is highest values you see in the person of others. If there is nothing to values then it is sacrifice. By values here I mean, creative character. This one is the meaning of love. Keeping this meaning in mind you should start to reconsider your own choices and values, and arrive at right judgment.
A
male
reader, xxSABBYxx +, writes (11 December 2009):
Megane hun this sounds awful...Firstly you need to get some space..you need to get your head clear and understand a few things..
yes you married this man who you love, but he married the woman he loved...there should be no lying...especially about money...money especially these days is vital...especially if your rent is now gettin hit with his lying...what would happen if there was children envolved?? personally i think you need to reaccess what you want to do moving forward? are you going to ask him to get help with you by his side, or are you going to walk away for a while, move out and let him know this deffinatley has to stop...one way or the other you cant stay around and watch your health suffer for his lying!!
he might be gambling or have an addiction, one you can help him with if you get special help to guide you both through a safe and happy marriage.....and get him not lying about money again!
i rwally hope all works out, and always remember be true to yourself...dont ever take what you feel you "might" deserve...take what you are deserved!
Sabby
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