A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my problam is kind of confusing.... me {Amanda} and my bestfriend {Taylor} are going out with these two guys {Dylan and Josh}. Taylor and Josh have been going out for over a year and a half and me and Dylan have only been going out for about 3 months but for about the whole time Taylor and Josh have been going out, me and Josh have had a "thing", and we always sneak around to hangout with each other. About a week ago me and Josh ended up having sex. Josh is my best guy friend and I have been friends with him way longer than I have even known Taylor but I just don't know what to do when it comes to everything. I like Josh so much, and he tells me everyday how much he likes me and in school he's always next to me in class and finding some way to touch me.... I don't know what to do, I like him but I'm not sure if I want to risk Taylor finding out and starting a lot of drama, and losing a lot of friends. She's my best friend but so is he and we have had a "thing" for so long now... its hard to let it go.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): We all make mistakes but its how we fix them in the end that matters. Ask yourself why you want this drama. A person who puts themselves in this situation is saying something about themselves. Your boyfriend doesnt seem to be doing it for you and you seem not to be doing it to your boyfriend. Your life will always be filled with lies if you let it be. Honesty deserves honesty. It will bite you in the ass later in life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): Amanda...first, you need to realize what you did was WRONG. On so many levels. Is this the kind of person you want to be? the one that goes behind your best friends back and then has SEX with her boyfriend? while having a boyfriend yourself...the kind of girl that cheats and lies...and all the while just...how can you? how can you have a best friend and lie to her face..listen to her talk about the guy she loves, and know that you want him.??? You need to re-think your values. Your 13-14-15..? And you've already screwed up this bad. Im really not trying to judge you...Believe me, ive had my share of screw-ups. But i know that i felt deeply sorry for them, and at least learned from all the drama It caused. Just read what you wrote! Your best friend! Taylor! the girl that has always been there for you...the girl you tell your stuff to..and you've betrayed her so bad. Well, thats IF she really is your best friend, bcuz u sayd u didint want all the drama and losing a lot of friends. To me it seems like your only thinking of yourself and not of what youre basically just throwing away. It's like you dnt care of them for them, but more for what ppl will think and how youll be alone and have a bad reputation. ang guess what? If josh is so great why did he CHEAT on his girlfriend? Wtf, who cares what he feels for you? please..lmao! what a bunch of bullshit. If he actually feels something for you he would have left her a loong time ago. You have a thing? Guess again! YOUR NOT WORTH BREAKIN UP WITH HIS GF OVER..! so this guy has her, AND he has you! Fuckin awesome! I think youre blinded by whatever...hello?? integrity?? respect?? where did that go! Respect for yourself?? respect for your friendship?? Respect for your boyfriend?! It would be at least understandable if u made out, but sex!? I cnt begin to xplain what i hope you know and im trying to get you to understand if you dont already. If you tell your friend, be sure some major hard times are gonna be ahead. I dont know many friends who will forgive theyr best friend for SEX with they boyfriend. and not just any boyfriend. A ONE YEAR N A HALF BOYFRIEND. They had a serious relationship. And while that guy is scum! He could at least have cheated on her with someone else..Not you =/. You should be better then that. And really!? HIS FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND? he dsnt have any respect either =/ So..If u go out with josh, not only will that be fucked up, but you're setting yourself up for more drama. If you think someone will find out...better tell her bfore anyone else. You did what you did, now face the consequences. Be prepared. She'll probably not want to speak to you again =/. But how can you blame her? She might tell her friends. Theyll choose sides. be prepared for that too. She'll break up with josh, and he'll be free to flirt with you all he wants. Please, PLEASE!! dont fall for that. eh..dylan is a gonner too.Really think about what you did. And do something to make it better. And if you dont tell your friend..at least tell josh to back off! and dont ever do anything again. Oh,and if ur just gonna continue doing what your doing just waiting until ur friend finds out, thats gonna be EVEN WORSE! you know ull be tempted, so break things off with josh already! and focus on ur own boyfriend. wtf, whats he there for? dude..think about you? Is this who you want to be?? Think about the people your hurting..=/
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Josh is no bargain as a mate or lover. If you honestly feel sorry for what has happened and think anything of his girlfriend then you will tell her about the cheating. Having a sexual relationship requires a degree of emotional maturity or else it will never work out satisfactorily - in your case, you have to step back from the selfish act (i.e. the cheating) and put your friend first. Josh is having a great time - he has a girlfriend and a bit on the side...what an adventure for a teenager boy! However, there is a huge danger you will come out of this situation feeling used and abused as he is hardly showing you any respect - if he wanted you as his girlfriend then he would have ditched the other girl, but he isn't being forced to choose because he is dating her and getting sexual favours from you on the side. If he was your boyfriend then he may cheat on you in the future.
Taylor deserves to know her boyfriend is the wandering type because if he cheats with you, he will cheat with other girls too and it sounds like she is the innocent party in all this. If you tell her then you have to expect there to be major repercussions but it is just one of the consequences of being involved in a situation like this and hopefully you will learn a lesson about friendship, integrity and all that to spare yourself heart-ache in later life.
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A
male
reader, Huzi9mm +, writes (30 August 2007):
Try to sort this out "carefuly", tell your best mate what you did and say your sorry, she will be mad.
You have to think to yourself, are you realy happy in this relationship of secrets. If yes carry on , if no well then sort it out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): ugh to be honest, i'm sooo fkn disappointed in people who are the OTHER girl... i've been cheated on ONE tooo many times and i hate hearin about it with other people, it's just not fair on ur bestfriend
i dont think if u explained this to her, she would care if it was "HARD TO LET GO OF" she's been with him for a year and a half and think, if he really thought u were worth it and if he was a genuine guy he would have left her, and considering he hasn't and didnt... all i can say is he'd do the same to u!
meh, sorry for bein so rude but its only fkn truue
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): Well I agree, she is too young to be having sex, and is also a bad friend to this girl she betrayed. But calling her a slut, what good is that going to do?? Anyways, we all make mistakes dear but you do need to be honest about the situation. Do you think that this guy would do the same thing to you that he did to your friend (his girlfriend)? If you went out..he may do the same to you. I think you need to just be hones though.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Actually the only thing to be done in this situation is for you to break up with Dylan and for Josh to break up with Taylor. Then when the dust settles perhaps Taylor won't have any problems with you and Josh hooking up. You guys are just starting out in the dating world so don't start out on the wrong foot. Honesty is still the best policy when it comes to just about everything but it is crucial in relationships. Do the right thing by everybody involved. Good luck and keep us posted.
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Dear un-faithful friend,What your doing is careless in many ways. Your hurting your friendships and your having sex in a way that is not healthy, both emotionally and possibly physically. Did you practice safe sex? Some allowance can be made for your poor decisions because of your age but let me tell you that age doesnt discriminate on getting pregnant or losing friends that you could have for the rest of your life. My advice is to step out of the drama and start being a little more careful about your actions. You may skate through this situation without disaster but life has a way of coming down REALLY hard on people who do what you are doing. You would be wise to change your ways.
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female
reader, lovesickpup +, writes (30 August 2007):
 ignore that other person that is there opinion which they are entitled to but i was about your age when i first slept with some one but i truly think that to should decide who you want i know its hard trust me i do but its the only way i think you should telll your boyfriend that you want a break to sort afew things out and tell your best mates man that you want some time away from him to then after a short period of time you will miss one more than the other then you will know who it is you really want then you go from there hope this is some help to youlovesickpup x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): You don't want to loose your friend - you just had sex with her boyfriend! Basically your a horrible friend and you know what your doing and your enjoying the 'drama'.I suggest your leave your friends boyfriend alone, do you understand how heartbroken she will be as 1 and a half years is a long time to be with someone and it will hurt when she finds out he a cheat with her 'best friend'.You care about yourself much more then you do her. She hasn't done anything yet you cheat on both your partners. And remember - what goes around comes around. It will happen to you when you least expect it and then you'll understand how she feels.
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