A
female
age
30-35,
*0991
writes:I just got out of a long relationship and think im pregant.What do i do! im young and confused. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, orangy +, writes (27 February 2008):
hi first of all, don't panic, you must get a pregnancy test straight away,like tomorrow as soon as the shops open up! its been some years since i was pregnant but you can take a sample of your water to a chemist and they can carry out the test for you or you can buy a test and do this privately at home following the instructions, i believe they are very easy and accurate. alternatively, you could go to see your doctor but this may take up extra days before you find out for sure although it would be free of charge. However, you would need to see your doctor as soon as you find out anyway for a check up.As for your ex bf, you would need to calmly ask him to meet up with you and then explain that you are pregnant after a test has proved positive. How he will react is something only you may know or perhaps have to wait and see. He may be angry, happy or confused, willing or maybe not to stand by your decision of whether to keep the child or not. But for now your first priority is to put your mind to rest and find out if you are pregnant. If not, try to be careful with your next bf. if you are pregnant get as much advice from your doctor and health visitor ect as possible and your family will need to be very supportive at your age also.I was 17 when i had my first child, everyone said i would regret it because of my age but i don't regret having him, only the age which i was. Up until my son was 13 he thought it was great that he had the youngest parents in his class at school, i never said anything about that, but when he turned 13 and went to his senior school he realised that actually he was the result of a teenage pregnancy and i remember one very heartbreaking night with him crying and shouting that he wasn't wanted. I assured him he was wanted very much and i love him very much. I also told him that i never have regretted having him at all, but the only thing i did regret was my age! I wish i had had him as an older mum like at least in my mid twenties so that i could have given him more both emotionally and materialistically. He's 23 now and we have had a close bond but he does still feel abit embarrassed at having a mum only 17 yrs older! i know this because he seems to add 2 or 3 yrs onto my age in conversations! It seems to me the childs future feelings as they grow older are not usually thought about when people discuss teenage pregnancy, they are after all the result of a teenage pregnancy!Having a child so young is not easy, your social life will suffer, you may witness your friends develop their jobs into careers and go on great holidays and do things which you won't be able to do as a parent. Are you ready to take on the responsability of caring for a helpless child 24/7 for the next 18 yrs +? Also if you have a family younge, your peers/friends will be kicking off their heels and having their families when you will be going off to work and trying to develop a career whilst juggling the school run!I know that you are an adult and you feel and in many ways are grown up, but, I know from my experience that we are all still developing well into our 20's on an emotional level, there are still loads of adult experiences for you out there to have and a life of your own to live before the complications and responsability of taking care of a child. When the time and situation is right then having a child is a wonderful thing to do, whatever you do if you are pregnant and chose to keep the child you must know that it isn't all a bed of roses. Sorry but i have to point out the downside of what could also be a wonderful fullfilling situation.take care and good luck
A
female
reader, Robin Goode  +, writes (27 February 2008):
(1) find out if you are pregnant. (2) if you are, find someone you trust and who has no agenda on what you do (i.e. not your ex, not your pro-life best bud, not your your anti-ex mother) to talk with. If you don't have someone in your life who loves you but doesn't have a dog in this fight, find someone you don't know. You'll schedule an appt with a med person if you are pregnant, they can refer you to someone good. They do this kind of stuff all the time at Planned Parenthood, and they are a great (and inexpensive) place to start. Bottom line here. The only decision you regret is one in which you don't listen to your own head and heart. Be smart. Find out what you want, so that you can live with whatever you decide. As for the future, well, I don't have to advise being careful next time, do I? You already know how much what you are going through sucks. Take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): Well the best thing for you to do is to tell someone you trust. Like a parent or a close friend. Even try talking to the person you had the relationship with. Do not hesitate to go for a check up and find out if you really are pregnant. You have to make sure there is soumething before you start worrying. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): get a preg test and check if u are tell the dad he will want to know
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