A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure how to go about this so bare with me.In March of this year I was raped in my and my roomates apartment by a friend of hers.I never reported it and moved elswhere to just put it behind me.Now I find out he is living just 6 miles from me in another apartment..and I am petrified he will come after me ..I think I am nuts to feel this way,,am I ?I dont understand why my mind keeps flashing back to it all..the song that was playing wont leave my head either..over and over I hear and see everything playing outI really hate Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith...I want to forget it but I cant .How do I deal?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): you say that you did not report it and i am assuming you did not also get rape counselling. it is not too late, you are reliving this nightmare and i am sure you want it o stop.
have you also perhaps considered some self help protection classes - this will also help you.
rape is so traumatising. you owe it to yourself to heal from this nightmare, then only can you lead a fulfilled life.
as for the guy moving so close to you, plse be extra careul. lock your doors, don't frequent commonplaces that he does as well. extra secuirity. i know you may feel that you are in prison but better a safe haven prison than violated again.
plse take care
A
male
reader, zyto  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 im so sorry darling i wish i was close to sort him for you thats the onley way you can stop worring obout it get youre frends around real freinds not the ones you know are all talk tell them i know it will be hard but you will feel better not worring they will heare it someware else go and sort him to an inch of his life he dosent have to know it came from you just get two or three lads that he dont know and they just say hey arnt you the prick that stole my car ground and pound for a min then piss off and lol for a while and he wont be thinking about it with hiss balls all squshed love zyto
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 May 2009):
I think you need to take legal advice on this one.
In an ideal world I would say "yeah report him and then he will be put in prison for what he did!" but after all this time it's going to be your word against his. Court cases like that are HORRIBLY traumatic. The defence will accuse you of everything they can because that is what they are paid to do.
There must be some women's groups where you are. There are ALWAYS victim support charities in every town.
They can give you help on how to
a) get over this horrible thing that he did
and
b) they will know local law much better than the internet and will be able to advise you on what can be done to keep him away from you.
There could be restraining orders, there could be help so you can move house or put better security on the one you have. Or they may tell you that the police in your area are very good at prosecuting cases of this kind. It varies from area to area so don't take my word for it. Ask around.
In all probability the bastard probably wouldn't even remember you if he saw you. It is almost impossible to think that he might come after you again. If he had a conscience or any human values then he wouldn't have done it in the first place. He is an animal. You are safe from him as you are from any other man right now.
I know that doesn't make it any less scary but make sure you have an attack alarm, don't walk alone at night and carry any sprays etc that it's legal to carry where you are.
You can get through this but you need help, so hit google and search for things like "rape support" and the name of your town and you should find people who WILL make this better.
Good Luck!! xx
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