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I've had sex but never had a real boyfriend!

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Now its been over a week since me and this other guy have been talking. And I have a quite embarrassing comfession to make. Although I have had sex and have had many boyfriends..I haven't had a REAL boyfriend. You know the ones who take you out on date, and the type you can just kick it with. When I get back we plan on meeting, and I told him I want to go to central park and just walk around. My friend says that sounds cute. I know it is and all, but I'm a bit nervous. I haven't really hung out with a guy I've like without sex in the end. I'm use to sex,cuddles and little chats. My last ex was my first..so I guess you can count him as my only boyfriend. But I'm not really a talker. I'm just really nervous..because I really like him and I don't want to get soo nervous and ruin everything. I'm just thinking that maybe what if I screw things up. He tells me to stop thinking negative. Today I asked him, what if we met and there was no vbye? And he replied that can't happen, I said How are you so sure? And he said because we like each other too much. I myself thought that was a cute answer. Soo what do you guys think? Should I be freaking out? I'm not sure why, but I'm pretty nervous. Is it because I like him so much?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

Young lady, it certainly sounds like you are trying to use sex to buy love, acceptance, and affection. I think you realize that you aren't getting love, acceptance, or affection - and probably not even very good sex. Believe it or not, sex gets in the way of love, acceptance, and affection.

Walking around Central Park - a day at the museums - visit Ellis Island - take in a ballgame - go to church together - join a coed sports league - don't sound like simply "cute" ideas to me, but rather good ways to get acquainted and decide whether there will be a "real" boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Or, is he simply humoring you so he can have some sex?

How would this guy react if you told him that you didn't want to have sex until you two had been together for, say 6 months? And, suppose you asked him to actually help you stay away from sex for that long - would he do it, or would he take advantage of the first opportunity? That will give you some clue about whether he's a potential "real" boyfriend.

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A male reader, Cloverfield United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2010):

Cloverfield agony auntHehe, that is cute :)

I think you'll find most of us are nervous before a date, especially in the early stages of a relationship. & how much you like him will definitely be reflected in your anxiety.

Just remember, if you find yourself with any uncomfortable silences, just ask him stuff about himself. Most men love to talk about themselves.

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