A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with katy for 6yrs now and we tell each other everything and we are really close. We are both single and until she meet a guy afew wks ago neither of us was seeing anyone. Other the last 6months or so we have made jokes about not needing men and being together, we've said that i would have a sex change so we could be a couple. When shes had a few to drink she will ask me to kiss her and we do, and not just a peck a proper kiss. If we go out i normally end up sleeping with her in her bed and she will always cuddle up to me. Even though shes seeing this guy now she still tells me that when shes out for a drink with him she wishes i was there and im feeling jealous of their relationship. She only sees him friday nights and occasional sats as he doesnt live locally. Last friday night when i picked her up after she had seen him, she'd had afew to drink and was feeling down about the two of them. She said we should be together properly even if i wasnt a guy and we kissed passionately in the car. She was upset about this guy and i held her and when we went to bed she cuddled up close and i wanted to do more but wasnt sure if she did or if it was just the drink. Then her daughter came into the room and that was it. I spent the night awake wondering whats wrong with me. Ive had relationships with guys since i divorced 8yrs ago and enjoy them so why do i feel like this and should i tell her how im really feeling, because i dont want to ruin the friendship we have as its so important to me. Please help, i dont know what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): i have the same problem but if you dnt want it to go to the next level step away. but she wil tell you if she wants it or not even if she is druk and you to
A
female
reader, xkittycatx  +, writes (22 April 2007):
its ok i hope everythink goes well for you both but just remember we can't choose who we fall for weather it is right or wrong were only human good luck and your right if anything is ever going to happen it will probly happern then good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear xkittycatx
Thanks for your reply. Many people at work and when were out think we are a couple because of the way we behave and talk to each other. I still dont understand my feeling for her, I went on a date last night with a nice guy and was enjoying it but still wished she was there . Nxt time were out alone together I will try talking to her about things. Were going to Yarmouth for the weekend for my birthday in June and we'll be away from everything here and in the same room , maybe if anything is ever going to happen it will be then.
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A
female
reader, xkittycatx +, writes (21 April 2007):
i think you feel like this because your lonely are you physically attractive do you imagen and dream of her sleeping with you if so you might just actually generally do like her next time if you passionately kiss maybe try and take things a little bit more but see how she reacts and take things further and when your doing this ask her if shes ok with it and if your a little bit drunk with her or when your talking about having a sex change thing and sleeping togever maybe say somethink were have to turn into lesbains or summink like that but do it so you can turn it into a joke just in case it back fires but just remember alcohol can make you say and do things that you wanna do but dont have the guts to do when your sober but it can also make u do things u wish u had never done hope this helps tell me how it goes good luck xxxx
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (15 April 2007):
You feel like this because you have a very close, very dear friend, and you are lonely.
The fact that you have kissed and been to bed together, but nothing has happened, probably means that nothing is going to happen.
It doesn't matter that she is a woman, the same situation could have arisen if you had a close male friend that you had been friends with for 6 years.
To remain friends, I think it is worth drawing a clear boundary in your friendship with this friend - be clear that you are "just friends" and do not kiss and do not sleep in the same bed.
Remember that your friend is dating someone else and should be concentrating on that relationship and if it is not working, your friend should end that relationship.
Maybe get a little space from one another for a few weeks, so that you can get some perspective on this.
Good luck
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