A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been with this guy for over 2 months now and we got on so well at the very start and we have told each other that we love each other. I dont no if i do love him because i have never felt love with a man before but it feels real. He is 25 and i am 17. Me and my best friend have been goin out with him and his friend and we were in seperable and they finished the other night but they were always fighting and me and him would just go on like nothing was bothering us because we would be intranced in each other..i just wouldnt be able to take my eyes off him!he always talks about his past relationship and says he wants a life with me..which i like but i know as well as he does that it most likely wont happen even though we would like it to!the other day he told me that i didnt have to tell him all the time that i loved him because he knew and that our relationship hasent been that long and we should stop talking about it like we are married.he really is lovely and i am probably only focussing on the badness of him. It was his birthday and i bought him a tattoo voucher for it and it seems like he just wanted the tattoo but in my mind i know thats not true.we talked about my best friend breaking up with his friend and i was saying im goin to be with her alot be cause as the saying goes"hoes before bros!"i need to stick to my friend more then my boyfriend and he said that i was his best friend and got affended by it. i dont want to finish with him but lately he has been acting weird and we had are first fight there last night...but everything came out! and he then says in the middle of the fight when he knows im right that he doesnt want to talk about it and just there he txt me saying sorry and that he loves me but it didnt seem like he was sorry.i dont know what to do. it is true that i would like to be single and that i have had a lot of offers to go out with other men but i still want to say with him. please help!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 October 2008):
Well if you want to be single then you should be single.
People in love don't want to be single.
You say you know it will never happen for you long term and I think deep down you know that although you have strong feelings for him and it's all very magical right now... you aren't really in love with him.
It was great when your friend was there and arguing and you could feel like your relationship was perfect compared to theirs but now they've gone you actually have to face up to your own problems and you've seen that they are big.
I don't quite understand the problem when you say he wanted a tattoo and you bought him a voucher. If that's what he wanted and you helped him out, then where is the problem? I think you are inventing "terrible things" that he has done so you have an excuse to admit that you just don't love him.
Sit down with him and see if he really is happy or he just wants to be with you because he is used to that and doesn't want to have "failed" by splitting up.
Good Luck!! xx
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