A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi. my girl and i recently had our first threesome with another guy , and the rule for the other guy was to wear a condom. well, while he was in the middle of things, his condom came off. now, im ok with the fact that we did the threesome, but not ok with what happened, but that's beside the point, as it already happened. this is the first time we tried doing a threesome, and want to know if there are any other guys out there that have the same problem, and how they got over it....here's the deal....i know that what im thinking is wierd, but perhaps talking about it will help. since we did this threesome, i cant stop thinking about this guys penis touching her down there since his condom came off, and so i seem to have this dick phobia of me touching where his penis was and now its really affecting my time with my girl, as what goes through my head is this fear of having my member touch where his penis was, because then i think that my member is touching his penis. to make it worse, i told her what i was feeling, and now she thinks something is wrong with her. its caused me a lot of anxiety, and i know its crazy to be thinking this, shes been with other guys before, but just the fact that i saw the guy and watched it happen seems to make it worse. any help from guys to help me snap out of this is greatly appreciated, as i really dont know who to talk to about this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): Why not use a condom with your wife until you become comfortable with the idea of having your unwrapped penis where his was accidentally? Once you are again comfortable with having sex with her, the condom will no longer be a necessary crutch.
You didn't cross swords. You aren't touching his penis by proxy if you have unprotected sex with her. Please try to be rational and realize your behavior and attitude towards this accident could lead to you losing your wife if you can't man up and get over it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate-it was originally a fantasy that she had, but was just curious. i was the one who kept up talking about it and wanted it more than she did. and yes, it is about his penis touching her down there, as strange as that sounds. i dont know where or how that even got in my head to mess me up in the first place.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): I think your issue is with his penis touching her down there...not seeing another guy with her. If the latter is the issue, you should not be having threesomes. If the former, get over it...it is a penis, not an alien monster with acid for blood. If you are sure he's STD free, then its nothing man...his hands and hair have more cooties than his penis. Are you going to be skeeved cuz his hands touched her too?You signed up for this
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 June 2012):
 As this appears to be an irrational mind buggy out kind of thing, I doubt anything we say will have much of an effect. But here goes anyway...
So the thing to realize is that our cells replace themselves every so often, some areas more than others. In this case, I would expect that any cell that had contact with his penis will be completely gone within a few weeks. It'll be like an entirely new lining of her vagina, and his penis will experience the same cycle of skin renewal so the bit of him that touched the bits of her no longer exist. They are dead, they are gone, they have been washed off and flushed out and there's nothing left of those cells.
Here's an article that might help: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/02/science/02cell.html?pagewanted=all
Now then, your mind has an issue, this has been made pretty clear. What else are you going to do about it? Are you going to sit back and watch irrational thoughts take over or are you going to figure out what the hell is going on there?
Whose idea was the threesome, by the way? You didn't mention that.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Yeah, I don't think it's an issue with the condom falling off. The reality didn't live up to the fantasy, and now you're having issues over watching your wife have sex with another man. You're in denial about it, so your subconscious is compensating for it by turning it into a malfunctioning condom issue.
When you agree to a threesome, you accept all the risks that go along with it, and threesomes ARE risky, both physically and emotionally. You and your wife need to sit down and discuss this. Be open and honest with her about how you really feel, and encourage her to do the same. Once the true feelings are on the table, then the two of you can decide whether or not this is really the direction you want your relationship to go.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Strange. Big deal, the condom came off. Sex is risky. She took a shower, the condom is out, and the vagina is remarkably self-cleaning.
Threesomes. Blech. Sounds like when you scratched this fantasy itch, you realized that you can't handle it emotionally. Time is the only thing to fix this.
You could have sex with her in the shower next time and vow never to do anything so foolish again.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (25 June 2012):
1 - Why any man would want to watch another dude screw his woman sits right at the top of "Things that are Beyond Me."
2 - You just a threesome - and now you're freaked out about another dudes johnson? What did you think he'd be using - his elbow?
3 - As someone else wrote - add this to the list of reasons not to do threesomes.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Just dont take these risks n youll be fine.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Hmm I can't honestly think of anything that's going to help except time. But I've added another reason to my list of 'why not to have a threesome'.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2012): Yes, it is weird the way you r thinking:).I guess you ll need to meditate to try to forget this. He was inside of her, whether with condom or without, you know that. She washed after that hundreds of times. There is nothing there that left from that guy.
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A
female
reader, Candycane1234 +, writes (25 June 2012):
 You're not touching where his penis was her vagina washes itself out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbtw we know hes safe, so thats not the issue. we were just trying to be safe.
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