A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. Ive got a really irritating and quite embarrassing problem! Im 18 years old and ive been sexually active now for a little ovet 3 years. My first sexual boyfriend and i had an amazing sex life. Everytime was special and we tried everything. He maxe me orgasm alot and it was the best. We were together 2 years and split up. Ive always masturbated... Alone and in front if him and always managed to make myself come. Since him, ive. had 8 sexual pareners. And none of them have managed to make me orgasm. No matter how slow, rough, fast, romantic.. Doesnt matter where or when. Sex cannot make me orgasm. I really enjoy the sex, but the guy always comes and i just cant. I find myself faking an orgasm and going home to finish myself off. Its really annoying!! I have shown guys exactly what i do.. Bit still.. Nothing! Can anyone offer any advice!?? Other than role play ha! Thanks guys!..xxx
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orgasm, sex life, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): I'd bet anything that you loved your first...and felt that he loved you. Love makes a huge difference. I went through precisely what you are going through and FELT NOTHING for such a long time. I realize that my heart was sort of broken. I really bonded with my first boyfriend and loved him immensely. But I was deeply hurt and betrayed.
It took many years before I fell in love... truly in love... again and then... everything was terrific in that department.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 A large part of the female orgasm is emotion-based. As Cerberus said, these guys aren't getting enough time to learn your buttons - but in addition, you aren't getting enough time to feel comfortable with them, attached to them. They could be doing every physical motion properly, but in the end it's the difference between a technician and an artist. One just doesn't do it for you upstairs.
It's also possible they're not even trying to get you off. It depends on your reputation. Guys are much less likely to care about the satisfaction of a girl they perceive as a slut. So, if they know you've been with that many guys before them, they probably won't even try to satisfy you, just to get their rocks off. It's a large part of the reason that relationship sex is better all around.
Seriously, never fake an orgasm. Even if you just want the guy to roll over and never call you again, you'll only mess up his technique for the next girl. And you're denying yourself the satisfaction.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): You're not staying with these guys long enough for them figure out your buttons on their own.
Not every guy is going to give you and orgasm that way, we all have different shaped penis' that need to be used in different ways.
Plus the fact that you're faking orgasms means they think they're doing it right, so why would they try and change that?
You're only shooting yourself in the foot by faking orgasms because if they don't know you're not orgasming then why would they try anything different?
Look it can take a while for two people to conect that way, for a guy to figure how he can pleasure you. But firstly he needs that time, secondly he needs to know what he's doing isn't working for you.
So my advice is, try build relationships with these guys, the sex will improve and stop faking orgasms, they're counter productive and unnecessary we guys would prefer to know we're not hitting the spot so we can try something different. Otherwise we just assume we're doing the job and you get no satisfaction. Trust me most guys understand that we're not going to make every girl cum every single time we have sex.
It's funny really, because faking orgasms only denies a girl satisfaction the guy still gets off and just assumes he's done the trick. I had an ex try and use that against me once. We had a bad break up and she told me I'd never made her cum that she faked it all. I laughed in her face because she assumed I'd feel bad that I didn't perform or something, but I really didn't like her at that time and just said "awesome, so our entire relationship I got off and you didn't? That's brilliant, thanks for that."
OP there are a number of factors which this could be, not being with the same guy long enough for him to figure out how to pleasure you with what he has, the fact you loved your ex may have given you that extra pleasure when you were with him, perhaps you were very sexually attracted and sexually excited by your ex, the shape and size of your ex's penis might have been just perfect for hitting the right spot, or he knew how to use his penis to hit that spot.
But what I know for definite is no guy is going to try and improve while you fake orgasms.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (28 December 2010):
 hi
maybe you are not as relaxed and comfortable with these other guys? you said that it was always special with the first boyfriend. was the relationship as a whole more special and felt more right than with these later boyfriends? why did you split up? do you think it has made you more wary about getting too close to someone again? emotions can play a very big part in whether women can have orgasm with their partner or not
xx
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