A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey erm well wondered if you could help me, this may sound stupid but i have problems talking to my friend lol. I've known him for 2 years now and things couldnt be weirder. Well its strange because im not sure what to make of it. One minute hes like all chatty to me and joking around with me and play fighting when we are together and then the next time we meet up he barely speaks to me and its like we have nothing to say to each other, i know thts normal to not always talk as much but this is beyond belief. Thing is its like he never used to talk to me because of people not liking us being friends and so he never spoke to me in college and stuff but outside of college he would abit. But recently we;ve been getting on really well it was unreal and he was quite flirty with me but then the next minute....nothing its back to how we were before where we hardly talk. Thing is im abit quiet as it is with certain people so i dont always know what to say to him, he is a quiet guy in general but hes not exact shy and will talk for england at times lol. I dont struggle with just asking what hes been up to its how to make the converstaion develop and start joking around with him...its all very very weird I just struggle to talk to him and i wish i didnt but part of the reason for that is because he doesnt always talk back. Its like trial and error lol I dont get why its always changing, i may be overthinking here but its gone on long enough and i hate not having owt to talk bout him with. We've always had a weird communication problem we would be together but we'd never talk it was like we hated each other lol but we dont. Please help :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): I don't know what to say since this situation is quite strange to me as well. But you've been putting up with it and now you are even looking for advice so thats great.
I have the opinion that maybe there is a deeper issue with him. Maybe he's crossed back and forth with what other people think. One day he does and the other he doesn't care. When he is shy and quiet, are other people around as well? If not then maybe when you guys are alone, have a 1 on 1 chat with him. Tell him how being friends has been great, but tell him what you have noticed. Don't leave out the fact that maybe you think that it is just you over thinking, but its been a long time and its a pattern you've noticed.
Really the number of reasons could be many. I think it is either him being crossed with friends or maybe he likes you. And he wants to hide those feelings for fear it may backfire but in trying to hide it, he shuts up all together. Could be, don't know.
I just think that the communication problem isn't as simple as you trying to communicate. But then again maybe what is weird for you is normal for him. It's hard to provide advice without having seen the behavior myself. Maybe its a mutual thing where you start a conversation and he continues it. This seems more normal to me since most women love to talk and talk and ta...ahem yeah.
Anyway good luck, maybe someone else can provide some communication tips.
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